Essence de Microbus

You know what you really shouldn't take with you on a Microbus on a really, really hot day? Three bags full of raw fish.
You see, I initally thought that there nothing worse than the smell of sweat and stale underwear on a hot crowded microbus but as usual, turns out I was really naive. The low point was just about every miniature traffic jam when whatever breeze was blowing through the windows just stopped leaving you clutching your chest and clawing against the already tattered seat in front of you just waiting for sweet relief, even if it's permanent.
You know what's even worse than simply smelling it all through the ride? Having to maneuver your way through the aforementioned bags while the owner looks on innocently, causing your shoes to pick up the scent and keep you company for the rest of the way home, where you promptly burn them in a sacrificial bonfire while quietly weeping over their young prematurely snuffed out lives.

On a more pleasantly smelling note; HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOU!

Listening to : Sour Girl - STP

Random lulz

I love this flash animation so much. It always makes me laugh maniacally at my computer. If you haven't seen it before (in case your cave doesn't get a good internet connection) or if you'd just like to see it again, here it is : END OF ZE WORLD



Translation for anyone who doesn't know what the hell the dude is saying :
Hokay, so here's the Earth, chilling. Damn! That is a sweet earth you might say, round! Alright, ruling out the Ice Caps melting, meteors becoming crashed into us , the Ozone layer leaving and the Sun exploding , we're definitely going to blow ourselves up . Hokay, so basically we've got China, France, India, Isreal, Pakistan, Russia, the U.K. and Us...with nukes...(We've got about 2600 more than anybody else, whatever). Henyway, one day, we decides, those Chinese sonsofabitches are going down. So we launch a nuke at China. While it's on it's way, China's like, "Shit shit! Who the fuck is shooting us?" "Oh well! Fire missiles!" Then France is like, "Shit guys...we got ze missiles zey are coming! Fire our shit!" "But I'm le tired"..."Well, have a nap-zen fire ze missiles!!!" Meanwhile, Australia is down there like, "wtf, mates?" India, Isreal and Pakistan launch their shit , so now we've got missiles flying everwhere, passing each other . Russia's like, "AAAHHH!! Motherland!" Then England's like, "'Bout that time, eh, chaps?"..."Righto"... So now the U.S. is like, "Fuck, we're dumbasses" Canada's like, "What's going on, eh?" Australia's still like, "wtf?" Mars is laughing at us . And some huge meteor is like, "Well fuck that" ... So, now we've got nuclear winter... heveryone's dead 'cept Australia, and they're still like, "wtf?"...But they'll be dead soon. Fucking Kangaroos. But, assuming we don't blow ourselves up, us Californians just have to worry about California breaking off from the United States . To go hang with Hawaii . Alaska can come too ... The End!

With a little help from my friends..

"Friends" are always really interesting when they're not really willing to live up to the less pleasant aspects of friendship. It's not their fault though I suppose. I mean, it's exhausting being nice and helpful all the time.

I also get pretty interesting and it's not my fault I'm vindictive.


Listening to : Ladytron - Destroy everything you touch

Perplexed

Do I secretly strive for his attention because I actually like him or simply because my ego can't handle the fact that his attention is exactly what I fail to receive?

Perhaps someone should let my ego know that I'm not in high school anymore and spread the word around the rest of that sorry place parading as my brain.


Listening to : Cat Power - Metal Heart

Physical Abuse Courtesy of ...Medical School

The expression "Victims of Medical School" 0r "Da7aya Koleyet Teb" has always seemed a bit of an exaggeration to me. Last week though is probably one of those times when it actually applied to some of us!

You see, we take some private lessons in the most absurd places. Specifically, the inner alleys of El-Abbassia. Mind you, I'm not talking about the residential areas there in general, I'm talking about the innermost, darkest, broken-down, suspiciously odoriferous areas surrounding the faculty.

Last Thursday, a random resident driving over a friend's foot while standing in front of the um.."educational center" where we take our lessons, prompted one of our male colleagues to shout something along the lines of "watch it!". After that, apparently all hell broke loose. The man stepped out of the car, people started pouring down from the apartments (still in their sleeping "garments") and pseudo-thugs ready with their retractable pocket-knives started running over from the local all-night cafés. They then proceeded to beat the crap out of every male student who just happened to be standing there. The used their fists, random chairs and a few tables to cause as many bruises as possible along with some ripping of clothes and breaking of glasses for good measure, while the girls were locked in the aforementioned center or fled for safety.

This ended in a dramatic scene where the police drove in after our Professor/Doctor/Tutor drove over to get them.

Then the credits began to roll followed quickly by "THE END".

No, seriously. I'm not making this stuff up.

Let this be a warning to all those who wish to enter medical school : If you thought it was just about the studying, think again kiddies, think again!

Listening to : New Order - Crystal

The Biggest Trap?

I love it when Doctors/Professors literally spit out their "pearls of wisdom" at us during rounds. Seriously, the stuff I hear coming from these men's mouths is pure comedy gold.

I remember during my OB&GYN round last month, there was this particular doctor who blew me away. We only saw him twice but he had a particularly profound effect on me during one of those times caused by one of his highly entertaining "pearls.

I'm paraphrasing here, of course but the gist of what he told us one time when we were discussing the value of knowing the patient's and her husband's respective ages was:

"See? Her husband's much older than her. He probably needed someone to serve him. That's what these marriages with significant age differences are usually about. You see, the biggest trap a man can fall into is ending up outliving his wife because then there would be no one to take care of him in his old age. I mean, a woman can serve herself when she's old and on her own but a man still needs taking care of! "

So let me get this straight...
A elderly widower's biggest problem would be the absence of a female "servant" rather than a "companion"? His biggest problem would be the inability to shout "JANE! ME HUNGRY! FEED NOW!" at someone? And an elderly female widow needs nothing because any thing's manageable as long as she can cook and clean after herself despite any decrepitude old age might cause?

This is actually as silly as the notion that a widower should get married as soon as possible because he needs someone to take care of the house while a widow shouldn't because she should stay loyal to her husband's memory and think only of her children.

If this is the biggest trap a guy could fall into, the biggest one a girl could fall into is ending getting hitched to a guy retarded enough to think of her as an investment to keep him comfortable in his old age.


Listening to : God is an Astronaut - Radau

Random Embarrassing Situation

So I had an Obstetrics and Gynecology exam recently. It was one of those exams where they threateningly go "SHIFT!" every 5 minutes (or so they say-- it feels like we shift according to the time it takes a resident to yawn in between well.. shifts). As a result your brain goes into overload and fries itself until it recovers of course right after the exam and you wonder how you could have been such a moron to mess up like that.
So I go in all ready for action. I was going to do all that I could with the patient in the hypothetical 5 minutes that I had. I choose the first relatively high surface I find to begin writing on. I go ahead with the questions and the patient quietly says " Doctor, do you mind my stomach, please?". I look down in horror to realize that the "high surface" I have chosen is the pregnant patient's belly and not a commode of some sort. Then again, you'd think I would find it suspicious that there's a commode sprouting out of the middle of the friggin' bed. *Facepalm*
It gets even worse when she answers one of my questions by saying "this is my tenth pregnancy, I've had nine miscarriages". She then adds with a glare " I hope this one works out!".

Now, where's that dude telling you to shift when you actually need him!?