Now, hold on a minute...

Needless to say, the last week has been nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster for all Egyptians. One that has ended in dividing people sharply into two sides; the one that yearns for the facade of stability we've had for years and the one that wants to keep the protests' momentum going until Mubarak finally leaves. This dissent was at its ugliest yesterday when the former group was actually visibly pissed off at the protesters who were being shot at and saying that they deserved it because they brought it on themselves.
Now, I don't care which side you're on but there should be no country on the face of the planet in this day and age, where protesters who are peacefully expressing their opinions - whether you agree with them or not - are shot at while we all stand by with folded arms and annoyed expressions on our faces. The very thought should be inconceivable and I can't believe that people sitting at home all bundled up in front of their TV sets and computers have the nerve to say "well they had it coming, didn't they?".
Don't even get me started on how gullible we've really turned out to be. I'll admit that Mubarak gave quite the speech to plead with his people for a dignified exist, complete with strategically placed pauses and looks of defeat, but are people really that easy to fool? How did half the population do a complete 180 after a single speech? Is it so easy to forget what's been done over the past 3 decades that your desperation for this "mess" to go away gives you the gall to say that these kids have done enough and they should just go home when they've been forced to shift from exercising their God-given rights to fighting for their survival?
How are people still defending him and claiming that the abhorrent criminal activity that's been taking place in the past 2 days in El-Tahrir must have been devised by all the other bad guys in the government, because you know, he's really an O.K. guy once you really get to know him.
The guy's a Goddamn octogenarian who's been in power for 30 years. I think that means that he's earned enough experience over the past few DECADES to disqualify him from being the good guy surrounded by a few bad seeds leading him astray.

You don't need to be of a certain political inclination to realize that what's happening to the protesters in El Tahrir is wrong. They're Egyptians, they're human beings and they have every right to be there.

Red Tape

Egypt is unique. There's really no doubt about that. This is probably the only country of the world where getting out of medical school is so much harder than getting in it. We seem to be clawing our way out of one of the gates of hell just to prove that we've spent almost a third of our lives in this hellhole.
The way we're drowning in paperwork is getting downright comical. They're like little bureaucratic supervillains that never seem to die. As soon as you think you're done with one of them, it seems to breed two more. Then those little bastards seem to be dancing in front of your face jeering about the number of stamps and approvals each one of them wants - nay, my pretties - demands!
It's also weird that while the university hospital seems to have an abundance of officials and employees, yet we have to do some of their work. We have to go around the hospital buildings getting our attendance and vacation histories, which for some reason are so impossibly hard to transfer along with our names from one building to another.
Also, if they find it necessary to drown our paperwork in so much ink, how about we stick all those with the mystic power of the ink within the same vicinity. I'm not asking for much here; just stick them all in the same building.

I'm just asking for a little mercy for our sore feet. Is that really so much to ask for!?

I Can Feel it Coming in the Air Tonight...

..Oh, Looord.

It's this time of the year when you feel the air heavy with a distinct yet, familiar flavor we've all come to know by heart.

It's the gift that keeps on giving. It's particularly generous with our lungs.

There's not a single year that goes by when it doesn't pay a visit.

In fact, we've become so accustomed to its ubiquitous presence all over Cairo's night sky, that we feel a little anxious if it isn't around.

And its color just never goes out of style...

What About All the Rest?

I don't know how to say the following without sounding like a complete asshole but I'll try.
I think it's awesome, amazing and mind-blowing that the Children's Cancer Hospital (57357) is enjoying this tremendous amount of support, both moral and financial.
It sort of bugs me though that a great many other hospitals in Egypt that are just as needy (if not more) are not getting nearly as much attention. It seem that somehow, the massive media campaign aimed at promoting the CCH's efforts has made it more well...fashionable to direct donations there compared to other hospital.s
My own personal experience is limited to El-Demerdash (a.k.a. Ain Shams University Hospital), but I don't think I'm being pessimistic in thinking that it's only one among many hospitals that need serious financial support just to stay afloat.
I go to work every day and I see this crumbling establishment trying to pose as a hospital that receives a ridiculous amount of patients each day complaining from every ailment imaginable under the sun.
As awful and life-shattering as cancer is, there are also many other awful diseases out there that need so much to treat or even to diagnose properly. I've witnessed young residents with my own eyes pay for patient's treatments out of their own pockets and let me tell you, their pockets are by no means deep.
It's not just money either. Blood is more commonly unavailable than not and sometimes it can make all the difference.
So is there anyone out there willing and powerful enough to advertise the needs of other heavily pressured hospitals in Egypt so that all those generous Egyptian philanthropists (and for once, I'm not being sarcastic) can be made aware of other places where their help is badly needed?

Things that Go Bump in the Night

So I just started my pediatrics' round, last Saturday. If there's one thing I've come to notice with my keen observational skills, it's the absolute lack of any semblance of hygienic conditions within the hospital. I mean, sure it might seem hygienic to a family of rats but it's not exactly fit for 10 hospital wards full of babies.

Last night, my friend and I decided to wander off from the hole in the ground we like to call the "ER", after our red blood cells finally decided to give up the good fight against the ER's horrible ventilation (or lack thereof) and we began to feel our brain cells slowly withering from the lack of oxygen. So there we were, strolling through the hospital's empty hallways with the intention of visiting our friends on the second floor, when suddenly...

We thought we thaw a puthycat!

It was a puthy..err... pussycat indeed...

In fact, there were two of them, rummaging through the garbage in front of one of the wards.

Needless to say, cats playing around in what seems to be last week's macaroni inside of a friggin' hospital, by no means make a pretty sight.

Then if that wasn't enough to permanently turn us off from the practice of medicine in Egypt, the following events take place while we pass one of the balconies :

Me: Wait a sec, I think I just saw something move.
Friend: What? Where?

~*We both put our heads together and squint through the darkness until we see..err..a rodent of some kind~*

Me: Eww! It's a huge RAT!
Friend: No no, it's ...it's got..thick hair on its tail.
Me: EWWW..omg shut up...o look..the cat looks like it's trying to pounce on it...how cute!

After the furry little fellow scurries along moments away from inevitable doom, we conclude it was in fact a weasel...and if we had any doubts, it made it's identity entirely clear by scurrying, once again, in front of us on our way back and a few inches away from the kids sleeping soundly in their beds.

I finally understand why the pediatrics hospital is commonly known as the "The toilet of El-Demerdash".

And if you're a toilet's toilet, you know things have got to be bad!

Close Encounters of the Avian Kind

It's not very reassuring when your resident tells you that the patient who just threw up on your shoes the day before, has now been confirmed as the 65th case of Avian Flu(H5N1 strain) in Egypt.

It's also kinda difficult to hide it from your family - ya know- so as not to worry them or anything, when it gets printed in the newspaper the next day and everyone at home jumps whenever you sneeze or cough. Even when you tell them that there's no human-to-human transmission...yet.

Well hopefully because if a virus wants a place to mutate where else could it find a better home?

Okay okay, enough with my fear mongering...

The poor woman came to the hospital 9-months pregnant and as custom goes in certain.. well..I guess you could say.. socioeconomic classes here, she was raising the chickens, so she could eat a couple after she gave birth. She and her family kept denying that little tidbit however, until her condition became severely deteriorated and ventilatory support became necessary.

As my father would say, "E7na sha3b ghalban walahy".

It seems however that the Dr.Sha3bolla approach isn't working too well and the Ministry of Health needs to start working on a new game plan, since we're now the proud owners of the highest number of Avian Flu cases outside of Asia.

The Month of Fasting, Among Other Things (part 2)

Ramadan has also unfortunately become the month of neverending T.V. series for as long as I can remember. In recent years however, T.V. in Ramadan has been a continuous flow of commercials with some shows dispersed here and there. You end up watching so many commercials, over and over again that you become more familiar with them than with some members of your family.
I'm not going to talk about T.V. shows or series because I've avoided following any of them for quite a few years now but rather some T.V. ads that always strike me as odd whenever I venture to sit down in front of the television with a cup of coffee.

1- The series of commercials produced by The general union for NGO's ( el ete7ad el 3am lel gam3eyat el ahleya*- E7sebha sa7, te3esha sa7). Apparently, they're trying to teach the people of Egypt how to manage their budget properly. It's not the fact that the prices for bare essentials have doubled and tripled over the last few months that are making life difficult for people in Egypt. Oh my, no! It's because people are frivolous and wasteful. While the latter may be true for some portion of the population, producing a series of commercials reminding people how much easier their lives would be if they would be just a little more careful with those water faucets and cigarettes is not only equally frivolous and wasteful, but also moronic and aggravating.

2-A commercial for a~ particular~ brand of frozen vegetables(that shall remain anonymous), where a bunch of chefs decide to having a poolside cooking party. What an absolutely brilliant idea!
I know that whenever I decide to cook, I always to do it best by the pool while doing a little dance and gently caressing some artichokes, if ya know what I mean! *winkwink-nudgenudge*
Heck, I don't even know what I mean...

3- A commercial for that ~ particular~ brand of underwear(that shall remain anonymous), where we observe the trials and tribulations of a young man who doesn't have the best taste in wifebeaters/A-shirts/undershirts (el fanelat el dakhelya ya3ni). We watch with aching hearts the mess his life has become until we collectively rejoice upon his discovery of this ~particular~ brand ( that shall remain anonymous) and how the right fanela dakhelya can make you a star among your peers. It also appears to be the key to success in attracting women and eventually making a marriage work. These are pearls of wisdom, people! Pearls, I tell you!

4- Finally, I hope that Sameh chokes on those Goddamn chips of his.

There are probably a shitload of others that are also likely to make my brain hurt but those are the the ones that have left a stain on my soul, so far.

*at least I think that's the correct translation

Listening to : Goldfrapp - You never know

Just how smart aren't we?

As I approach graduation, I find myself concerned about how exactly I'm going to be a doctor handling lives day in and day out, because quite frankly after almost 6 years of textbooks and exams, I feel like I don't know... well, shit.

And I'm not even a slacker.I study, I get an 'excellent' grade every year and then I move on to the next year. Similarly, all the students in my class don't seem to know much either even if they study their little hearts out every year.

And I'm just talking about the basics...

There's this belief in medical school that you start to actually learn after graduation as house officers and residents. However, what kind of logic says that millions of pounds should be spent annually on thousands of students for six years, just so they could begin their actual learning process after graduating.

Also, you should keep in mind that living (if only for a while) patients are involved in this delightful learning process.

Thinking about this also reminded me of how angry I was when I was in middle school, when an Australian friend told me online how they were learning all about ancient Egypt. I remember thinking "How come you're learning about us and we're not learning anything about you guys? Wait a second here...how come we're not learning anything about anyone else!?".

Of course in all fairness, our schools were adamant about teaching us the most popular crop in one country from each continent. They also made an effort to teach us exactly how many bullets were shot on the 6th of October...for some reason unbeknown to us all.

*cue mental image of a 13-year-old me banging her little fists on her little desk and crying "What does it all mean!?" at the top of her lungs*

I know you're probably thinking; "So you're trying to say that education in Egypt sucks? Well, thank you Captain Obvious!", but please humor me for I need to spread my despair.

So any suggestions on how to overhaul education in Egypt and start over? I'm actually serious...no joke, people. I know I'm kinda negative and pessimistic in general but possible solutions would make my heart dance.

I mean, there's gotta be something that can be done about it. Right?

Right?

Medical School - Bringing you closer everyday to....

Cold-blooded Sadistic Murders!

And that's not even a figure of speech....

An Egyptian endocrinology professor at Ain Shams university has been convicted of killing a man, proceeding to cut him up with a chainsaw and finally running over the victim's head with his car to make it impossible to identify him. This dude used to be a fearful fixture in the 5th year oral exam circuit and I've seen more than one student examined by him last year laughing hysterically with a bewildered look in their eyes after reading their news.

Is it now obvious why I say that professors at our faculty require psychiatric evaluations before being unleashed onto the students?

My condolences to the victim's family because as strangely (and macabrely) funny as this is, it doesn't make it any less horrible.

The month of fasting, among other things (part I)

Why is it that during Ramadan driving through the streets is the akin to playing bumper cars with a group of Attention deficit children?

Egyptians are generally known for their impeccable ability to avoid maintaining any lanes what so ever but in Ramadan , they're practically gliding across the street from one side to another, with their eyes half-closed and their mouths half-open more often than not. The traffic jams are phenomenal displays of what a combination of low blood sugar, not enough sleep and preexisting road rage can do to the normally docile Egyptian citizen.

Okay, I totally made that last part up.

It's always fun to hear people curse their heads off while driving, insulting you, your mother, your father and every other relative they can fit into a single sentence. Especially since it's usually followed up by the ubiquitous " Allahoma iny sayem!" or "God, I'm fasting!".

You see, that's enough to fill the world with scented roses and sunshine until the next driver cuts you off.

I'm glad I don't drive but I still get the need to jump out of the car and proceed to throttle some drivers while riding in the passenger seat. Fortunately, that plan never comes to fruition because I'm usually too busy yawning and dreaming of caffeine just like most people on the road.

Little Angels

I was stepping into Carrefour about a week ago with my mother and suddenly a shiver went down my spine.
I was surprised...no...overwhelmed by the sheer number of babies & toddlers in the supermarket.

It's not that I hate babies but I've always recognized the fact that unlike many other girls, I do not have the ability to voluntarily fawn over a little kid. The extent of my reaction is "aww, cute kid". I don't pinch cheeks and I don't tickle tummies. That might be a defect but that's just the way I am.

However, in supermarkets/department stores etc. , the expression " kiddies gone wild" is the only one possibly applicable. My indifference to random children suddenly shifts gears to extreme dislike for both them and their parents.

The things is, parents seem to think that they've done most of their work when the baby starts walking. Um , no. I don't want your little bundles of terror running over my feet and hiding behind my legs during hide & seek. The idea that a small child can hide entirely behind one of my legs is not very pleasant you know.

I don't like taking each step with an extreme fear that I might trip over a running child and then turn out to be the cold-hearted villain as the mother spastically screams out "danaya!" . I especially hate when a little boy is running through a dressing room in a clothing store. Despite what his proud mommy might think, his early inquisitive nature is NOT cute.

Can people not keep their kids in check anymore or do they depend on other people for that when they're in public?

In through one ear and out the other

Last night, I watched a segment about the "Respect Yourself" or "E7terem Nafsak" anti-sexual harassment campaign by Kelmetna Magazine on "el 3ashera masa2an" show along with millions of other people. It resonated with me as I'm sure it did with many other girls around Egypt particularly since the segment adamantly placed emphasis on the fact that it's not the girl's fault and unlike what people believe, it doesn't simply boil down to the way she's dressed.

So I decided to check out the campaign's facebook group and you'll never guess what I found people arguing about for pages upon pages.

Actually, you probably can

Lo and behold, people were still arguing about clothes and the way girls are dressed.

I'm stunned that so many people are simultaneously naive and hardheaded. Note to the public : covering a girl from head to toe has been done and it doesn't desuade macho-men with inferiority complexes walking through the streets of Cairo from running their mouths and possibly drooling to the extent of needing a bucket tied around their necks (and this has been supported by research).

Before anyone flames me, I'm not advocating that women walk around in the skimpiest of outfits but basically I believe in two things :

a) Regardless of religious beliefs, I don't think it's particularly intelligent of a girl to emphasize her body over everything else she possesses be it intelligence, talent, humor..etc.
b)However, I do believe in personal freedom.

Another reason why the whole clothing issue is so completely redundant to me is that saying a women is "asking for it" by the way she dresses is basically proclaiming that the majority of men in Egypt are decerebrate animals with absolutely no control over their actions who are simply being driven around by their hormones and desires. I find that both lame and unacceptable. Seriously, people have to come up with a better excuse than that.

To further explain my point; let's use the open door analogy Egyptians seem so fond of. We like to say that if a door of a house or a car is left open, surely this will lure a theif.
Well, yeah..except that means that 90% of the Egyptian male population have suddenly become degenerate theives and women (pssst...those are the houses/cars...ooh..and their skimpy clothes are the open doors!) have suddenly become walking targets.

I don't know about you but that's just insulting to both sexes .

I don't want to live in a place where that analogy is an accepted fact that applies to the vast majority of the population especially in this day and age.

You know what the real problem is? It's apathy. As cliche as that sounds, it's the truth. Nobody gives a damn any more. It's just another day and another chick getting hit on by some moron, maybe violently, maybe not. Ho-hum well what's new and what do you expect me to do, lady?

I'd go as far as to say that some people enjoy seeing other people's misery. After all, it makes for awesome small talk!


listening to: Robyn-Bum like you

Essence de Microbus

You know what you really shouldn't take with you on a Microbus on a really, really hot day? Three bags full of raw fish.
You see, I initally thought that there nothing worse than the smell of sweat and stale underwear on a hot crowded microbus but as usual, turns out I was really naive. The low point was just about every miniature traffic jam when whatever breeze was blowing through the windows just stopped leaving you clutching your chest and clawing against the already tattered seat in front of you just waiting for sweet relief, even if it's permanent.
You know what's even worse than simply smelling it all through the ride? Having to maneuver your way through the aforementioned bags while the owner looks on innocently, causing your shoes to pick up the scent and keep you company for the rest of the way home, where you promptly burn them in a sacrificial bonfire while quietly weeping over their young prematurely snuffed out lives.

On a more pleasantly smelling note; HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOU!

Listening to : Sour Girl - STP

Dr.Shrinking Violet is Currently Unable to Examine You...

There's something I can't wrap my head around these days (lol breaking news, I'm sure.); the fact that despite us being in our FINAL year of medical school, my colleagues (particularly the chicks) insist on acting like they're oh-so-embarrassed-to-be there when certain medical terms comes up in conversation. Here I'm referring to stuff that everyone else would understandably be too embarrassed to bring up while having lunch with friends; menstruation, scrotal examination, breast examination..etc.
I can understand people who haven't entered the deathtrap known as medical school going into mini-attacks of convulsions when I talk about unsavory topics like these with them (I'm so sorry Juka!) but seriously, other doctors-to-be (hopefully, someday) acting like I just said an especially heinous curse word is très annoying. Blushing in the middle of a PURELY scientific discussion about the dos and don'ts of the examination of a particularly sensitive area in the body(something we do at least TWICE weekly during our surgical rounds) is almost as bad for a med student as fainting at the sight of blood is. Seriously, you're going to be house officers next year. Unpleasant and often smelly situations will be the NORM.

Toughen the hell up or sit the f*** down, kids!

I despise falsely conjured modesty and hate that educated people choose to adhere to the relic -and in many situations- completely uncalled for behaviors deemed appropriate by their society just for the sake of appearances.

/rant off

One of my favorite songs (and videos) :

The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails ( Lost Highway OST)

Hear the Crushing Steel..Feel the Steering Wheel.

from Warm Leatherette by the Normal - 1978

Being the great procrastinator I am, I still haven't learned how to drive. I can't really say the prospect seems all that tempting. Riding shotgun while my mother and father drive, I find myself both highly amused and extremely concerned. My mother - who is an excellent driver by all accounts - is especially creative when it comes to shouting insults and making fun of the stupidity of her fellow drivers in a way completely foreign ( and just a wee bit scary) to her usual self. That's the amusing part. The concerning issue is the fact that her nervous system and heart are being kicked repeatedly in their respective asses whenever she sits herself behind that damned steering wheel. I mean, most - if not everything - in Egypt nowadays is apt to bring out the best in your genetic makeup, be it High Blood Pressure, Diabetes or other stress-related conditions you might be predisposed to.
I personally find myself staring fascinated, mouth agape and everything whenever I see the cars criss-crossing randomly through the streets, pushing themselves through any space that will take them. Together with the broken and bumpy roads, the unnecessary (and often inane) traffic barricades and the random car collision, it all paints such an elaborate painting of extreme mental incompetence. It's mah-velous, I tell you!
Also, I believe stupidity in driving is not gender specific. It's true that incompetent female drivers tend to drive a bit too slowly and stick to one side of the road with their hands and teeth (I'll never let go, Jack. Never let go...NO MATTER WHAT!)..so they'll probably have you gritting your teeth and pulling your hair out strand by strand and maybe get the blood boiling just a bit or finally make that aneurysm go *pop*.
However, incompetent male drivers are more likely to crash into you for the simple reason that you dared to exist in their field of vision (you simple, lowly mortal, you). They're also always in a hurry and always need to have one hand perpetually attached to the car-horn the same way an infant needs his goo-goo ( i.e. pacificer, bunny wabbit, peddy bear etc.) to stop crying. Apparently, twice as many accidents are caused by males rather than females (google it). It could be because women usually have their children with them, the fact that men are more aggressive or simply because men just drive around a lot more. Point is, you're more likely to break a limb or worse because of unfortunately being in the same vicinity as a retarded male driver.

In conclusion, whatever morbid worries you might have...you'll (unfortunately) find them on the street of Cairo (because you know you'll eventually have to go there..mwahaha).

Rabena Yostor.

What a lovely day for humanity...

*Sigh* ! It's such a pretty day. The breeze is gently blowing making the leaves rustle softly , the birds are singing, the guy next to us is beating the crap out of his wife....
Yeah, that's right. Our next door neighbour, a dentist from a family which is very financially blessed , who has only been married for less than a year (also to a dentist) is currently undertaking the task of making his wife run around the house , screaming for help. Did I mention that she has just had a baby about a week ago?
So what goes through the mind of a supposedly educated young man when he raises his hand to strike his wife? What goes through his parents' minds when they hear about it ? Are they proud of their handiwork? If the two families get together to drag an apology out of him , will he really mean it or will it just happen the next time dinner's not warm enough? Questions, questions...I just hope someone's smart enough and brave enough to tell her to take that kid, run and never look back.

Things I just don't understand the popularity of ...

Yes, yes ... I realize I complain ..a lot. I can't help it though, I'm just built this way and I always find fuel all around me that keeps me going.
Take these things, I just don't get why they're so damn popular. I'm not insulting people who do them/enjoy them (not all of them , anyway) , I just can't my wrap my mind around why they're so ubiquitous.


Regarding Fashion:

- The eye-popping muffin-top look: It's when a combination of a size-too-small jeans and a top tucked into said jeans produces the characteristic stuffed sausage look , no matter what weight you are. Why go and defy the laws of nature like that?
And if you're still wondering why it's called a muffin-top , well..:






- Baggy jeans a.k.a the runaway jeans phenomenon : As colorful the patterns of many boxer shorts are, I really , really don't enjoy seeing them wherever I go . I thought the whole concept of underwear was that it stays under the clothes. It's really not supposed to pop out every few minutes to greet the person seated behind you.


- Wearing something tight enough to show the outline of your belly button: Until recently, I didn't think this look was even possible. It's an interesting concept trying to point out exactly where you used to be attached to your mother before you graced the world with your presence but it also looks like your belly button is attacking your shirt, or that you're smuggling a CD, or doughnut or a bagel or something under there.


-Flip-flops on guys : I've mentioned this before but I cannot stress this enough, looking next to me and seeing really big , hairy toes wiggling around is just tres, tres creepy.


Regarding driving:

-Driving and chit-chatting on your mobile : Really, now. Are you that important? Is that call really that crucial? And if you wanna show off, why not show off your ability to afford a bluetooth ear piece car kit or something else that doesn't guarantee collision with the driver ahead of you. If you were only at risk of running into a wall or a lamp post or something just so you could get your lolz while driving with your best friend on the line, there wouldn't be a problem. The thing is , you're likely to hurt someone else and that's not fair , is it? I mean if you're gonna kill yourself, do it alone.


-Driving in the wrong direction: I see this all the time on Cairo-Ismailia road. People are actually too lazy to drive 200 metres to the nearest U-turn , so they can drive in the same direction as everyone else. What's interesting , is that there's usually an accident site nearby , not surprisingly, also caused by another lazy-ass moron. You'd think they'd head the warning but nooo, nuh-uh. These guys are "special", they don't need no stinkin' brains to drive. Another case of kill yourself alone, please.


Regarding T.V. :


-Prison break : They plan an escape, something goes wrong. They plan another escape, something else goes wrong. It gets a bit tiring after a while and how long do they think they can keep this up before they actually end up escaping? Almost everybody I know watches this show...


-Obnoxious guys with great wives/girlfriends on sitcoms and cartoons : According to Jim, still standing , grounded for life , the family guy , the Simpsons..etc.
It would've been O.K. if it were only that these guys are completely incompatible physically with their wives (i.e. fat bald guys married to really hot chicks) but they're also obnoxious , immature, irresponsible and just a wee bit retarded . Yet these shows are popular and have been running for many seasons. It's a conspiracy I tell you!


Regarding Facebook :



-Applications, applications, applications all over the place : I have to admit that some of them are fun but its like every single brain fart around the world is being turned into a facebook application.

- Listing the "Holy Qur'an" as one of your favorite books: Well technically, If you're actively practicing a particular religion, you're not exactly at much liberity to dislike the holy text book/ rule book of said religion and therefore it's kinda ridiculous listing it as one of your favorite books.

-About a gazillion groups for "booby tata7ada al malal!" (booby defies boredom) : It's always nice to know that the sight of a hot chick in a a push-up bra and a really low-cut shirt (who is suspiciously named, of all things, "booby") can drive legions of Egyptian men into a state of chronic persistent puberty. It's highly amusing how these groups are listed in guys' profiles usually right next to their Amr Khaled groups. My favorite was one group which actually put up a notice before the last ten days of Ramadan telling its members to stop uploading pictures until the last ten days of Ramadan are over, then they would meet again after Eid.
Now, that's what I call entertainment!

Pet Peeves that bring out the axe murder in you

I'm not talking about things that simply "annoy" you, I'm talking about things that elicit a strong desire in you to inflict physical injury, a desire that you have to work very, very hard to contain. Then again, my mother says I'm a violent person by nature...(Not because I enjoyed hurting small animals as a child but because I slam doors a little too hard and open jars a little too aggressively. *sigh*Don't ask)

-In a crowded line towards an exit when someone insists on laying their hands on you as if somehow that's going to propel both of you towards the door any faster. What's especially irritating, is the fact that they're really not important enough to be in such a hurry.
Hey there, strange person behind me...hands to yourself or I'm gonna cut ya! O.K now?

-When you're standing on a bus with a heavy book bag , rocking back and forth in rhythm with the lovely elevations and depressions of our streets and someone sitting down asks you to please stand still because your bag is brushing against his/her shoulder and causing a great deal of annoyance. They usually throw in a grimace of disgust for good measure
How about I just knock you unconscious with my big bad bag, so we can both have a nicer bus trip home, sir? Would that make you any more comfortable?

-If I have trouble doing something with my hands and someone actually pushes my hand away forcefully to do it themselves. I'm not a 2 yr old you moron nor are we living in the stone age, anymore where language was kinda scarce. We can c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e with s-p-e-e-c-h and w-o-r-d-s.
Otherwise, me get very angry of you and me want to smack your face in real bad.

-You can't do (insert anything e.g. be a surgeon) because you're a woman and you'll have a husband and children to keep you busy OR Brilliant statements along the lines of "women are taking all our jobs after graduation, you girls know you'll become housewives eventually". Yes, I'm a girl/woman/chick and being one , I own plenty of high heels. Would you like me to introduce you to their business ends?

-Pimply faced teenagers , wearing a cap glued to their head (that seems to be disintegrating into it's primary components...the cap not their heads...I think) ,who you can hardly see behind their steering wheels and who are always in a hurry to get somewhere. Where the hell are you in such a hurry to? To put out a forest fire? To free Palestine? To save a bunch of orphans from child labour? WHAT!?
If you're a pedestrian, they're fully intent on running you over when you dare to cross the street. If you're a driver , they shine the light in your eyes and insist on somehow passing you because if they're gonna kill themselves in a car accident , then they might as well take you with them!
You just wanna pull 'em them over and just...!#(%()@#....you get what I mean, right?



*Deep Breath*..That felt good.

Which is Worse?

Can you believe that every single time I pray outside my house, some girl is waiting by to give me a cassette or give me a lecture about my hair? One girl even had the audacity (or is it the stupidity?) to ask me inside a mosque while putting on my shoes if I was a muslim. Um..well darn , you caught me! I’m really a Buddhist in disguise who came in here for the breezy atmosphere and the romantic lighting.

I should’ve asked her if she only began praying or even believing in God when she started covering her hair or maybe I should’ve just told her she was a hopeless moron. *Sigh*That’s l’esprit de l’escalier for you.

The next thing I see when I go out in the street are tons of happy happy couples. Arms around each other not a care in the world. The girls forming halves of these couples were usually girls wearing a hijab, a khemar or a 3abaya.

I’m a little confused here. So it’s not ok to leave your hair uncovered but having a guy grab you or put his arm around your waist or your neck, whisper sweet nothings into your ear and do whatever else it is you guys do together is A OK with God? I admit I maybe a little (ok VERY) uptight when it comes to PDA (public displays of affection) but shouldn’t a girl who’s so religious be just a little bit reluctant when it comes to letting a guy even hold her hand unless they’re officially married? Shouldn’t they be in the presence of their families and friends but never by themselves until they’re officially married? I’m guessing all of this goes on behind their parents’ backs as well.

I remember this professor telling us that girls should dress conservatively ( he meant wear a scarf) or else they’re figuratively letting each man passing by “have a lick”. And yes, those were his exact words. Do I understand from this rapidly spreading phenomenon that as long as you’re wearing a head cover or a 3abaya or whatever, it’s ok to give a selected few an actual “taste” before marriage (or even an engagement)?

And do the situations I’m put in make it ok for me to walk up to some random chick with a 3abaya and a guy surgically attached to her in the street and ask her if she’s a muslim because she’s got what seems to be a huge parasite (let’s call it Humanus hornyus) attached to her body? So can I, can I ?

Am I being judgemental ? Damn right I am. I tend to get that way when random people piss me off on a daily basis with their looks and their “words of wisdom”. It’s my turn, dammit!

See, I’m not against hijab or any tpe of garment a girl wears because she thinks she must in order to qualify as a good muslim as long as she’s not forced into it. I’m just sick of people preaching about appearances while everything else takes a back seat. I thought life was supposed to be about being honest with yourself rather than doing the equivalent of throwing society a bone, so they would call you a good girl and leave you alone, then sneak around and do whatever you want even though you know it’s religiously or sometimes even morally reprehensible. I thought...I thought your character was supposed to overflow on the outside instead of letting that shiny outer shell do all the work for your character or lack thereof.

Isn’t it? Or is that just not in fashion anymore?

Ma 3aleina. As one friend of mine usually says : Gayez el moftchy al OK!

You thought it was just about wheels, did you?

Silly rabbit.

Ok that was lame…Anyway, moving on.

I’ve previously bitched and moaned about microbuses (MB’s) and metros but I’ve never mentioned terminals before, have I?

Terminals I’ve passed through include : alf maskan, el abbaseya , abd el menem reyad, el marg and maw2af el 3asher. The first 3 aren’t too bad really, they’re positively stylish compared to the last 2 which I only started to know of about 6 months ago when I moved. You see, I moved to a nice house and a nice neighborhood (where the neighbors are separated by a thankfully decent distance) in a “new city” but unfortunately it’s not always just about where you’re going but also about how you’re getting there. The same buses going to Obour city, Sherouk City and 10^th of Ramadan city happen to cross roads with those going to El Salam , El Nahda and a town called Alexandria (not that Alexandria) which I only know of with the help of the tireless vocal cords of the scary gentlemen always dangling out of MB’s but I’m not entirely sure where it exists on actual land.

Maw2af el 3asher is quite amusing really, once you get over the psychological trauma and cultural shock that is. You walk into that place and on your left are people selling fruit, screaming competitively what are apparently cheap prices at the top of their lungs. You walk in a little further and this strange, exotic odor hits you like a wall. You’re not quite sure what it is until you spot what seems to be sort of an open buffet and salad bar on your left. In other words; carts with really tall bucket-like structures filled with things like beans (I think) and old cheese (the “old forgotten at the back of your fridge because you’ve been too much of a lazy ass to pick it up and throw it out for the past year” sort of cheese) each covered with the most flies I’ve ever seen at one time. Would you like some Salmonella with that, sir? Followed by a variety of pickles (Fear not, those come with flies, too!) and those strangely shaped plastic containers filled with liquid licorice and what appears to be milk (again, I’m just guessing). Underneath it all is a smell I’ve found to be existent in every terminal I’ve ever been to (even the stylish ones). The smell you know is there but you’re hoping is not .The smell that conjures up terrifying images in your mind .The smell that turns your stomach and kills your appetite for the week. Yes, it’s the smell that indicates that many wanderers in these here parts have confused this public area for a urinal. Heck, the entire Abbasia square smells like a friggin’ toilet sometimes. Anyways, after you pass through there a few times, you just learn to turn off your lungs for a few seconds and never mind the brain damage.

After that you’re met by the cars, their drivers and the “dangling men”. It’s like an attack of bees. You’re suddenly surrounded by people screaming unintelligible names of places at you all at once and pointing towards those heavenly vehicles of theirs. Is this what it feels like to be a rag doll? And don’t you dare get in an empty MB while another half full MB going to the same destination is standing there! They actually start fighting over the “customer” and their street vocabulaire starts to demonstrate itself in its most extravagant forms.

Damn, I never knew you cared guys! And now I’m a little scared that I do….

As for el Marg, well, I went there at the beginning only when I was trying out all the buses and almost ran towards the metro station once I got there. All I can say is imagine the same “maw2af el 3asher” atmosphere with slightly less of an odor and many more people who look like pickpockets and cut throats. The best description belongs to my father who dropped off a handy man there (and consequently told me never to go there again): It seems like the residents might one day take apart the metro and sell it as spare parts when it pulls into that station.

*Sigh*Truer words have never been spoken, Dad.

I should really start making my posts shorter ….