In through one ear and out the other

Last night, I watched a segment about the "Respect Yourself" or "E7terem Nafsak" anti-sexual harassment campaign by Kelmetna Magazine on "el 3ashera masa2an" show along with millions of other people. It resonated with me as I'm sure it did with many other girls around Egypt particularly since the segment adamantly placed emphasis on the fact that it's not the girl's fault and unlike what people believe, it doesn't simply boil down to the way she's dressed.

So I decided to check out the campaign's facebook group and you'll never guess what I found people arguing about for pages upon pages.

Actually, you probably can

Lo and behold, people were still arguing about clothes and the way girls are dressed.

I'm stunned that so many people are simultaneously naive and hardheaded. Note to the public : covering a girl from head to toe has been done and it doesn't desuade macho-men with inferiority complexes walking through the streets of Cairo from running their mouths and possibly drooling to the extent of needing a bucket tied around their necks (and this has been supported by research).

Before anyone flames me, I'm not advocating that women walk around in the skimpiest of outfits but basically I believe in two things :

a) Regardless of religious beliefs, I don't think it's particularly intelligent of a girl to emphasize her body over everything else she possesses be it intelligence, talent, humor..etc.
b)However, I do believe in personal freedom.

Another reason why the whole clothing issue is so completely redundant to me is that saying a women is "asking for it" by the way she dresses is basically proclaiming that the majority of men in Egypt are decerebrate animals with absolutely no control over their actions who are simply being driven around by their hormones and desires. I find that both lame and unacceptable. Seriously, people have to come up with a better excuse than that.

To further explain my point; let's use the open door analogy Egyptians seem so fond of. We like to say that if a door of a house or a car is left open, surely this will lure a theif.
Well, yeah..except that means that 90% of the Egyptian male population have suddenly become degenerate theives and women (pssst...those are the houses/cars...ooh..and their skimpy clothes are the open doors!) have suddenly become walking targets.

I don't know about you but that's just insulting to both sexes .

I don't want to live in a place where that analogy is an accepted fact that applies to the vast majority of the population especially in this day and age.

You know what the real problem is? It's apathy. As cliche as that sounds, it's the truth. Nobody gives a damn any more. It's just another day and another chick getting hit on by some moron, maybe violently, maybe not. Ho-hum well what's new and what do you expect me to do, lady?

I'd go as far as to say that some people enjoy seeing other people's misery. After all, it makes for awesome small talk!


listening to: Robyn-Bum like you

Who has the biggest brain..?

Does anyone else have this problem? This problem being total and utter addiction to that cursed application on Facebook called " Who has the biggest brain?". Seriously, forget the cute little scientist popping on to the screen every 5 mins....this game is eeevil.

I can't seem to get the " I'm gonna beat you, you wretched computerized game!" attitude outta my head whenever I sit down to play a game. This is hands down, the most addictive application on FB at the moment and that's saying something.

Great! Just what I needed; a new way to waste time...

Stalk-a-licious!

So here's the latest in a long line of creepy messages that end up in my Facebook inbox. Observe, my friends this ~*mysterious*~ stranger's unique skills of expression:

Subject: hi

"first of all i want to say that i send to you cause i feel that we
will become friends although i hate this way but believe me i am different
from anyone you meet on net or awhole your life i dont talk to anyone
but you seem that you are good-hearted if you want to win a good friend
try to call me on mobile ............. or through email
...........@hotmail.com my name is ........... 28 years single work as an
accountant from cairo i will wait your call bye"

Of course, this was simply edited to remove the dude's name, mobile number and email address.

However, the idea of leaving them in there just for the mere bitchiness of the idea seemed incredibly tempting.

Let's analyze this bit by bit, shall we? Even though, the lack of any punctuation whatsoever will make it somewhat of a "challenge".

"first of all i want to say that i send to you cause i feel that we

will become friends although i hate this way"

I have my profile set to private, my photos set to private, my status set to private and we have absolutely no friends in common. I fail to see the mystical connection we seem to have but apparently he does, so who am I to judge? He also "hate this way", so you know, he's like, never ever done this before but our connection was just too strong for him to resist, dammit!

"but believe me i am different
from anyone you meet on net or awhole your life"

I like how he simultaneously demonstrates what an overinflated ego he has and assumes that he's the most interesting person I have ever had the pleasure of encountering in my dull little life.

Although if that were the case, I would have carefully slit both wrists a few years back. Heck, I would have gone straight for the carotid just to be positive.

"i dont talk to anyone
but you seem that you are good-hearted "

So he doesn't talk to just anyone but he'll make an exception for me. I fail to express how shiny I feel inside at this moment. I feel so..so...ezbeshee-al!

O and be still my heart, for this random person off the interwebs thinks you are good based only on my name and the tiny thumbnail of my already blurry profile picture!
Well, that's all he can see but I've always felt that I have a phonetically pleasing name, so it's no wonder really.

"if you want to win a good friend
try to call me on mobile ............. or through email
...........@hotmail.com my name is ........... 28 years single work as an
accountant from cairo"

Translation of this: Act now if you don't want to miss the unique opportunity of getting me; the one, the only, the amazing to include you in my exclusive group of friends! After all, I'm a man from Cairo in my late 20's with a steady job and not only a mobile, but an email address, too! And you know how we fellas are rare nowadays, don't cha?
* insert image of him dancing to his own personalized rendition of "don't cha wish your girlfriend (or rather boyfriend) was hot like me" behind his keyboard. *

"i will wait your call bye"

Yep, you sure will.

Things I just don't understand the popularity of ...

Yes, yes ... I realize I complain ..a lot. I can't help it though, I'm just built this way and I always find fuel all around me that keeps me going.
Take these things, I just don't get why they're so damn popular. I'm not insulting people who do them/enjoy them (not all of them , anyway) , I just can't my wrap my mind around why they're so ubiquitous.


Regarding Fashion:

- The eye-popping muffin-top look: It's when a combination of a size-too-small jeans and a top tucked into said jeans produces the characteristic stuffed sausage look , no matter what weight you are. Why go and defy the laws of nature like that?
And if you're still wondering why it's called a muffin-top , well..:






- Baggy jeans a.k.a the runaway jeans phenomenon : As colorful the patterns of many boxer shorts are, I really , really don't enjoy seeing them wherever I go . I thought the whole concept of underwear was that it stays under the clothes. It's really not supposed to pop out every few minutes to greet the person seated behind you.


- Wearing something tight enough to show the outline of your belly button: Until recently, I didn't think this look was even possible. It's an interesting concept trying to point out exactly where you used to be attached to your mother before you graced the world with your presence but it also looks like your belly button is attacking your shirt, or that you're smuggling a CD, or doughnut or a bagel or something under there.


-Flip-flops on guys : I've mentioned this before but I cannot stress this enough, looking next to me and seeing really big , hairy toes wiggling around is just tres, tres creepy.


Regarding driving:

-Driving and chit-chatting on your mobile : Really, now. Are you that important? Is that call really that crucial? And if you wanna show off, why not show off your ability to afford a bluetooth ear piece car kit or something else that doesn't guarantee collision with the driver ahead of you. If you were only at risk of running into a wall or a lamp post or something just so you could get your lolz while driving with your best friend on the line, there wouldn't be a problem. The thing is , you're likely to hurt someone else and that's not fair , is it? I mean if you're gonna kill yourself, do it alone.


-Driving in the wrong direction: I see this all the time on Cairo-Ismailia road. People are actually too lazy to drive 200 metres to the nearest U-turn , so they can drive in the same direction as everyone else. What's interesting , is that there's usually an accident site nearby , not surprisingly, also caused by another lazy-ass moron. You'd think they'd head the warning but nooo, nuh-uh. These guys are "special", they don't need no stinkin' brains to drive. Another case of kill yourself alone, please.


Regarding T.V. :


-Prison break : They plan an escape, something goes wrong. They plan another escape, something else goes wrong. It gets a bit tiring after a while and how long do they think they can keep this up before they actually end up escaping? Almost everybody I know watches this show...


-Obnoxious guys with great wives/girlfriends on sitcoms and cartoons : According to Jim, still standing , grounded for life , the family guy , the Simpsons..etc.
It would've been O.K. if it were only that these guys are completely incompatible physically with their wives (i.e. fat bald guys married to really hot chicks) but they're also obnoxious , immature, irresponsible and just a wee bit retarded . Yet these shows are popular and have been running for many seasons. It's a conspiracy I tell you!


Regarding Facebook :



-Applications, applications, applications all over the place : I have to admit that some of them are fun but its like every single brain fart around the world is being turned into a facebook application.

- Listing the "Holy Qur'an" as one of your favorite books: Well technically, If you're actively practicing a particular religion, you're not exactly at much liberity to dislike the holy text book/ rule book of said religion and therefore it's kinda ridiculous listing it as one of your favorite books.

-About a gazillion groups for "booby tata7ada al malal!" (booby defies boredom) : It's always nice to know that the sight of a hot chick in a a push-up bra and a really low-cut shirt (who is suspiciously named, of all things, "booby") can drive legions of Egyptian men into a state of chronic persistent puberty. It's highly amusing how these groups are listed in guys' profiles usually right next to their Amr Khaled groups. My favorite was one group which actually put up a notice before the last ten days of Ramadan telling its members to stop uploading pictures until the last ten days of Ramadan are over, then they would meet again after Eid.
Now, that's what I call entertainment!