Stalk-a-licious!

So here's the latest in a long line of creepy messages that end up in my Facebook inbox. Observe, my friends this ~*mysterious*~ stranger's unique skills of expression:

Subject: hi

"first of all i want to say that i send to you cause i feel that we
will become friends although i hate this way but believe me i am different
from anyone you meet on net or awhole your life i dont talk to anyone
but you seem that you are good-hearted if you want to win a good friend
try to call me on mobile ............. or through email
...........@hotmail.com my name is ........... 28 years single work as an
accountant from cairo i will wait your call bye"

Of course, this was simply edited to remove the dude's name, mobile number and email address.

However, the idea of leaving them in there just for the mere bitchiness of the idea seemed incredibly tempting.

Let's analyze this bit by bit, shall we? Even though, the lack of any punctuation whatsoever will make it somewhat of a "challenge".

"first of all i want to say that i send to you cause i feel that we

will become friends although i hate this way"

I have my profile set to private, my photos set to private, my status set to private and we have absolutely no friends in common. I fail to see the mystical connection we seem to have but apparently he does, so who am I to judge? He also "hate this way", so you know, he's like, never ever done this before but our connection was just too strong for him to resist, dammit!

"but believe me i am different
from anyone you meet on net or awhole your life"

I like how he simultaneously demonstrates what an overinflated ego he has and assumes that he's the most interesting person I have ever had the pleasure of encountering in my dull little life.

Although if that were the case, I would have carefully slit both wrists a few years back. Heck, I would have gone straight for the carotid just to be positive.

"i dont talk to anyone
but you seem that you are good-hearted "

So he doesn't talk to just anyone but he'll make an exception for me. I fail to express how shiny I feel inside at this moment. I feel so..so...ezbeshee-al!

O and be still my heart, for this random person off the interwebs thinks you are good based only on my name and the tiny thumbnail of my already blurry profile picture!
Well, that's all he can see but I've always felt that I have a phonetically pleasing name, so it's no wonder really.

"if you want to win a good friend
try to call me on mobile ............. or through email
...........@hotmail.com my name is ........... 28 years single work as an
accountant from cairo"

Translation of this: Act now if you don't want to miss the unique opportunity of getting me; the one, the only, the amazing to include you in my exclusive group of friends! After all, I'm a man from Cairo in my late 20's with a steady job and not only a mobile, but an email address, too! And you know how we fellas are rare nowadays, don't cha?
* insert image of him dancing to his own personalized rendition of "don't cha wish your girlfriend (or rather boyfriend) was hot like me" behind his keyboard. *

"i will wait your call bye"

Yep, you sure will.

Baby, it's cold outside....

Damn! It's been way too long since I've made a post. Shame on me by all means! It's funny that I sit here writing this post as I'm slowly losing feeling in my hands and toes and watching my nail beds turn into a lovely shade of bluish-gray.

Winter, don't ya just *cough* love it *cough*?

You know it's winter in Abbasia when the fact that the entire square and the areas surrounding it are the equivalent of a gargantuan urinal becomes most pronounced. You're just walkin' down the street, chewin' your gum , mindin' your own business and you nearly bump into someone acting a little too much like they're at home. O.K. fellas, just because it's cold and just because you can , doesn't mean that you should. Meanwhile, chicks are avoiding fluids like the plague because they just know that there's a urogenital infection waiting to be caught by even being within the same vicinity of the university bathroom. Life sucks and ain't that a fact.

And yes, I realize that I've been saying gross, icky stuff for 5 minutes straight now.

To compensate, here' s a gorgeous 1989 song by Peter Murphy called " a strange kind of love". Lyrics:

A strange kind of love
A strange kind of feeling
Swims through your eyes
And like the doors
To a wide vast dominion
They open to your prize

This is no terror ground
Or place for the rage
No broken hearts
White wash lies
Just a taste for the truth
Perfect taste choice and meaning
A look into your eyes

Blind to the gemstone alone
A smile from a frown circles round
Should he stay or should he go
Let him shout a rage so strong
A rage that knows no right or wrong
And take a little piece of you

There is no middle ground
Or that's how it seems
For us to walk or to take
Instead we tumble down
Either side left or right
To love or to hate

It’s all in the technique

I’m sure we all (the ones with functioning brains at least) know that harassment is a horrible vile thing particularly because of how degrading and violating it is to women.

The thing I don’t get, is why would a pompous, self-absorbed jackass who thinks women were all created for his own personal entertainment do something as useless, inane and just plain stupid as harassment that eventually succeeds in doing nothing but making him look like an idiot?

To further explain my point; let’s examine some common techniques guys use to harass women:

-Walking up near a woman close enough so she can hear you whisper something obscene. She doesn’t understand what you said, she doesn’t care what you said, your breath stinks, you stink and you still suck at life.

-Honking a horn when you see an attractive woman. What’s the expected reaction here exactly? Should said woman throw herself at your car’s windshield? Wave? Chase the car wherever it may go because she is now certain beyond all doubt after hearing that heavenly horn that you (yes, you!) are the one for her?

-Swerving your car at an attractive woman in the street. Now what the hell is this about? I mean, I know if I was a guy, whenever I see a hot girl my immediate reaction would be to run her over! Yeah, baby, yeah!

-Walking as close to her as possible and singing. Seriously? That’s like, supposed to have a deeper meaning? Besides that your vocal cords need to be either lubricated or just pulled out for the sake of humanity?

-Comparing an attractive woman to various foods like “eshta/cream cheese” or “3asal/honey.” Or “zebda/butter”. What girl doesn’t want to hear herself compared to gooey, sticky fattening foods that send your cholesterol through the roof all day long ? It actually manages to make the perpetrator seem even more disgusting (hard as it is to believe) . I’m guessing it’s the drool that adds that extra “eww” .

-Grabbing your privates. Good God ! It isn’t enough that for some reason the majority of men think it’s actually OK to adjust um…themselves any where, any time (IT”S NOT DAMMIT, IT”S NOT!), they actually think that it’s somehow enticing.

The overall gain from these techniques is either being completely ignored, being looked at with disgust or if a girl is especially having a bad morning , a minor scandal to spice up the day.

What’s the point ? Even if you don’t have the least bit of respect for women, why do something so incredibly moronic? I don’t care if you can’t get married, or if the economic conditions are harsh bla bla bla…if you don’t give a rat’s ass about women and their rights at least maintain a shred of dignity for your own sake every once in a while.

Things I've learned from Med School (part I)

1-Far too many people are too infatuated with how fantastic they are.

2-Professors should be required to undergo a psychiatric evaluation before being unleashed onto the students. Pyscho-Professors turn normal students into Psycho-Students ,some of which one day will become New Psycho-Professors. Thus the Cycle continues and the Earth bleeds.

3-Far too many people have too much potential for split-personality disorder and/or schizophrenia. Yikes.

4-Far too many people look more than willing to kill you in your sleep, even when they're smiling.

5-People should require a license to breed. Too many people produce too many neglected children who either grow up into lousy adults or don't make it to adulthood at all (some of which pay us a visit in the pediatrics ward during their short short lives). Babies are easy to make, raising them well is the actual challenge.

6-Far far too many people seem unreconciled with the idea of wearing deodrant. Wear it people , it's for the benefit of human kind.

7-Too many guys have a long way to go before they're men, too many girls seemed to have flown over the "mademoiselle" station right into the "45 yr old divorcee with 3 kids" station.


I'm Diggin' this song right now : The killers-Read my Mind.

Le ShobShob

This is a picture of what the slippers we wear to the bathroom at home look like. In what appears to be a disturbing recent trend, these slippers have become a hot fashion accessory...for guys. Look, I have nothing deep to say about this but I just came home an hour ago and everywhere I turned a guy's toes were wiggling next to me. I mean...EWWW. Unless you have cute perfectly pedicured toes (which means you've got worse problems than being a fashion victim, young man), put that sh*t away plz!