Now, hold on a minute...

Needless to say, the last week has been nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster for all Egyptians. One that has ended in dividing people sharply into two sides; the one that yearns for the facade of stability we've had for years and the one that wants to keep the protests' momentum going until Mubarak finally leaves. This dissent was at its ugliest yesterday when the former group was actually visibly pissed off at the protesters who were being shot at and saying that they deserved it because they brought it on themselves.
Now, I don't care which side you're on but there should be no country on the face of the planet in this day and age, where protesters who are peacefully expressing their opinions - whether you agree with them or not - are shot at while we all stand by with folded arms and annoyed expressions on our faces. The very thought should be inconceivable and I can't believe that people sitting at home all bundled up in front of their TV sets and computers have the nerve to say "well they had it coming, didn't they?".
Don't even get me started on how gullible we've really turned out to be. I'll admit that Mubarak gave quite the speech to plead with his people for a dignified exist, complete with strategically placed pauses and looks of defeat, but are people really that easy to fool? How did half the population do a complete 180 after a single speech? Is it so easy to forget what's been done over the past 3 decades that your desperation for this "mess" to go away gives you the gall to say that these kids have done enough and they should just go home when they've been forced to shift from exercising their God-given rights to fighting for their survival?
How are people still defending him and claiming that the abhorrent criminal activity that's been taking place in the past 2 days in El-Tahrir must have been devised by all the other bad guys in the government, because you know, he's really an O.K. guy once you really get to know him.
The guy's a Goddamn octogenarian who's been in power for 30 years. I think that means that he's earned enough experience over the past few DECADES to disqualify him from being the good guy surrounded by a few bad seeds leading him astray.

You don't need to be of a certain political inclination to realize that what's happening to the protesters in El Tahrir is wrong. They're Egyptians, they're human beings and they have every right to be there.

I Can Feel it Coming in the Air Tonight...

..Oh, Looord.

It's this time of the year when you feel the air heavy with a distinct yet, familiar flavor we've all come to know by heart.

It's the gift that keeps on giving. It's particularly generous with our lungs.

There's not a single year that goes by when it doesn't pay a visit.

In fact, we've become so accustomed to its ubiquitous presence all over Cairo's night sky, that we feel a little anxious if it isn't around.

And its color just never goes out of style...

What About All the Rest?

I don't know how to say the following without sounding like a complete asshole but I'll try.
I think it's awesome, amazing and mind-blowing that the Children's Cancer Hospital (57357) is enjoying this tremendous amount of support, both moral and financial.
It sort of bugs me though that a great many other hospitals in Egypt that are just as needy (if not more) are not getting nearly as much attention. It seem that somehow, the massive media campaign aimed at promoting the CCH's efforts has made it more well...fashionable to direct donations there compared to other hospital.s
My own personal experience is limited to El-Demerdash (a.k.a. Ain Shams University Hospital), but I don't think I'm being pessimistic in thinking that it's only one among many hospitals that need serious financial support just to stay afloat.
I go to work every day and I see this crumbling establishment trying to pose as a hospital that receives a ridiculous amount of patients each day complaining from every ailment imaginable under the sun.
As awful and life-shattering as cancer is, there are also many other awful diseases out there that need so much to treat or even to diagnose properly. I've witnessed young residents with my own eyes pay for patient's treatments out of their own pockets and let me tell you, their pockets are by no means deep.
It's not just money either. Blood is more commonly unavailable than not and sometimes it can make all the difference.
So is there anyone out there willing and powerful enough to advertise the needs of other heavily pressured hospitals in Egypt so that all those generous Egyptian philanthropists (and for once, I'm not being sarcastic) can be made aware of other places where their help is badly needed?

Close Encounters of the Avian Kind

It's not very reassuring when your resident tells you that the patient who just threw up on your shoes the day before, has now been confirmed as the 65th case of Avian Flu(H5N1 strain) in Egypt.

It's also kinda difficult to hide it from your family - ya know- so as not to worry them or anything, when it gets printed in the newspaper the next day and everyone at home jumps whenever you sneeze or cough. Even when you tell them that there's no human-to-human transmission...yet.

Well hopefully because if a virus wants a place to mutate where else could it find a better home?

Okay okay, enough with my fear mongering...

The poor woman came to the hospital 9-months pregnant and as custom goes in certain.. well..I guess you could say.. socioeconomic classes here, she was raising the chickens, so she could eat a couple after she gave birth. She and her family kept denying that little tidbit however, until her condition became severely deteriorated and ventilatory support became necessary.

As my father would say, "E7na sha3b ghalban walahy".

It seems however that the Dr.Sha3bolla approach isn't working too well and the Ministry of Health needs to start working on a new game plan, since we're now the proud owners of the highest number of Avian Flu cases outside of Asia.

Just how smart aren't we?

As I approach graduation, I find myself concerned about how exactly I'm going to be a doctor handling lives day in and day out, because quite frankly after almost 6 years of textbooks and exams, I feel like I don't know... well, shit.

And I'm not even a slacker.I study, I get an 'excellent' grade every year and then I move on to the next year. Similarly, all the students in my class don't seem to know much either even if they study their little hearts out every year.

And I'm just talking about the basics...

There's this belief in medical school that you start to actually learn after graduation as house officers and residents. However, what kind of logic says that millions of pounds should be spent annually on thousands of students for six years, just so they could begin their actual learning process after graduating.

Also, you should keep in mind that living (if only for a while) patients are involved in this delightful learning process.

Thinking about this also reminded me of how angry I was when I was in middle school, when an Australian friend told me online how they were learning all about ancient Egypt. I remember thinking "How come you're learning about us and we're not learning anything about you guys? Wait a second here...how come we're not learning anything about anyone else!?".

Of course in all fairness, our schools were adamant about teaching us the most popular crop in one country from each continent. They also made an effort to teach us exactly how many bullets were shot on the 6th of October...for some reason unbeknown to us all.

*cue mental image of a 13-year-old me banging her little fists on her little desk and crying "What does it all mean!?" at the top of her lungs*

I know you're probably thinking; "So you're trying to say that education in Egypt sucks? Well, thank you Captain Obvious!", but please humor me for I need to spread my despair.

So any suggestions on how to overhaul education in Egypt and start over? I'm actually serious...no joke, people. I know I'm kinda negative and pessimistic in general but possible solutions would make my heart dance.

I mean, there's gotta be something that can be done about it. Right?

Right?

Medical School - Bringing you closer everyday to....

Cold-blooded Sadistic Murders!

And that's not even a figure of speech....

An Egyptian endocrinology professor at Ain Shams university has been convicted of killing a man, proceeding to cut him up with a chainsaw and finally running over the victim's head with his car to make it impossible to identify him. This dude used to be a fearful fixture in the 5th year oral exam circuit and I've seen more than one student examined by him last year laughing hysterically with a bewildered look in their eyes after reading their news.

Is it now obvious why I say that professors at our faculty require psychiatric evaluations before being unleashed onto the students?

My condolences to the victim's family because as strangely (and macabrely) funny as this is, it doesn't make it any less horrible.

The month of fasting, among other things (part I)

Why is it that during Ramadan driving through the streets is the akin to playing bumper cars with a group of Attention deficit children?

Egyptians are generally known for their impeccable ability to avoid maintaining any lanes what so ever but in Ramadan , they're practically gliding across the street from one side to another, with their eyes half-closed and their mouths half-open more often than not. The traffic jams are phenomenal displays of what a combination of low blood sugar, not enough sleep and preexisting road rage can do to the normally docile Egyptian citizen.

Okay, I totally made that last part up.

It's always fun to hear people curse their heads off while driving, insulting you, your mother, your father and every other relative they can fit into a single sentence. Especially since it's usually followed up by the ubiquitous " Allahoma iny sayem!" or "God, I'm fasting!".

You see, that's enough to fill the world with scented roses and sunshine until the next driver cuts you off.

I'm glad I don't drive but I still get the need to jump out of the car and proceed to throttle some drivers while riding in the passenger seat. Fortunately, that plan never comes to fruition because I'm usually too busy yawning and dreaming of caffeine just like most people on the road.

Little Angels

I was stepping into Carrefour about a week ago with my mother and suddenly a shiver went down my spine.
I was surprised...no...overwhelmed by the sheer number of babies & toddlers in the supermarket.

It's not that I hate babies but I've always recognized the fact that unlike many other girls, I do not have the ability to voluntarily fawn over a little kid. The extent of my reaction is "aww, cute kid". I don't pinch cheeks and I don't tickle tummies. That might be a defect but that's just the way I am.

However, in supermarkets/department stores etc. , the expression " kiddies gone wild" is the only one possibly applicable. My indifference to random children suddenly shifts gears to extreme dislike for both them and their parents.

The things is, parents seem to think that they've done most of their work when the baby starts walking. Um , no. I don't want your little bundles of terror running over my feet and hiding behind my legs during hide & seek. The idea that a small child can hide entirely behind one of my legs is not very pleasant you know.

I don't like taking each step with an extreme fear that I might trip over a running child and then turn out to be the cold-hearted villain as the mother spastically screams out "danaya!" . I especially hate when a little boy is running through a dressing room in a clothing store. Despite what his proud mommy might think, his early inquisitive nature is NOT cute.

Can people not keep their kids in check anymore or do they depend on other people for that when they're in public?

In through one ear and out the other

Last night, I watched a segment about the "Respect Yourself" or "E7terem Nafsak" anti-sexual harassment campaign by Kelmetna Magazine on "el 3ashera masa2an" show along with millions of other people. It resonated with me as I'm sure it did with many other girls around Egypt particularly since the segment adamantly placed emphasis on the fact that it's not the girl's fault and unlike what people believe, it doesn't simply boil down to the way she's dressed.

So I decided to check out the campaign's facebook group and you'll never guess what I found people arguing about for pages upon pages.

Actually, you probably can

Lo and behold, people were still arguing about clothes and the way girls are dressed.

I'm stunned that so many people are simultaneously naive and hardheaded. Note to the public : covering a girl from head to toe has been done and it doesn't desuade macho-men with inferiority complexes walking through the streets of Cairo from running their mouths and possibly drooling to the extent of needing a bucket tied around their necks (and this has been supported by research).

Before anyone flames me, I'm not advocating that women walk around in the skimpiest of outfits but basically I believe in two things :

a) Regardless of religious beliefs, I don't think it's particularly intelligent of a girl to emphasize her body over everything else she possesses be it intelligence, talent, humor..etc.
b)However, I do believe in personal freedom.

Another reason why the whole clothing issue is so completely redundant to me is that saying a women is "asking for it" by the way she dresses is basically proclaiming that the majority of men in Egypt are decerebrate animals with absolutely no control over their actions who are simply being driven around by their hormones and desires. I find that both lame and unacceptable. Seriously, people have to come up with a better excuse than that.

To further explain my point; let's use the open door analogy Egyptians seem so fond of. We like to say that if a door of a house or a car is left open, surely this will lure a theif.
Well, yeah..except that means that 90% of the Egyptian male population have suddenly become degenerate theives and women (pssst...those are the houses/cars...ooh..and their skimpy clothes are the open doors!) have suddenly become walking targets.

I don't know about you but that's just insulting to both sexes .

I don't want to live in a place where that analogy is an accepted fact that applies to the vast majority of the population especially in this day and age.

You know what the real problem is? It's apathy. As cliche as that sounds, it's the truth. Nobody gives a damn any more. It's just another day and another chick getting hit on by some moron, maybe violently, maybe not. Ho-hum well what's new and what do you expect me to do, lady?

I'd go as far as to say that some people enjoy seeing other people's misery. After all, it makes for awesome small talk!


listening to: Robyn-Bum like you

Physical Abuse Courtesy of ...Medical School

The expression "Victims of Medical School" 0r "Da7aya Koleyet Teb" has always seemed a bit of an exaggeration to me. Last week though is probably one of those times when it actually applied to some of us!

You see, we take some private lessons in the most absurd places. Specifically, the inner alleys of El-Abbassia. Mind you, I'm not talking about the residential areas there in general, I'm talking about the innermost, darkest, broken-down, suspiciously odoriferous areas surrounding the faculty.

Last Thursday, a random resident driving over a friend's foot while standing in front of the um.."educational center" where we take our lessons, prompted one of our male colleagues to shout something along the lines of "watch it!". After that, apparently all hell broke loose. The man stepped out of the car, people started pouring down from the apartments (still in their sleeping "garments") and pseudo-thugs ready with their retractable pocket-knives started running over from the local all-night cafés. They then proceeded to beat the crap out of every male student who just happened to be standing there. The used their fists, random chairs and a few tables to cause as many bruises as possible along with some ripping of clothes and breaking of glasses for good measure, while the girls were locked in the aforementioned center or fled for safety.

This ended in a dramatic scene where the police drove in after our Professor/Doctor/Tutor drove over to get them.

Then the credits began to roll followed quickly by "THE END".

No, seriously. I'm not making this stuff up.

Let this be a warning to all those who wish to enter medical school : If you thought it was just about the studying, think again kiddies, think again!

Listening to : New Order - Crystal

Stalk-a-licious!

So here's the latest in a long line of creepy messages that end up in my Facebook inbox. Observe, my friends this ~*mysterious*~ stranger's unique skills of expression:

Subject: hi

"first of all i want to say that i send to you cause i feel that we
will become friends although i hate this way but believe me i am different
from anyone you meet on net or awhole your life i dont talk to anyone
but you seem that you are good-hearted if you want to win a good friend
try to call me on mobile ............. or through email
...........@hotmail.com my name is ........... 28 years single work as an
accountant from cairo i will wait your call bye"

Of course, this was simply edited to remove the dude's name, mobile number and email address.

However, the idea of leaving them in there just for the mere bitchiness of the idea seemed incredibly tempting.

Let's analyze this bit by bit, shall we? Even though, the lack of any punctuation whatsoever will make it somewhat of a "challenge".

"first of all i want to say that i send to you cause i feel that we

will become friends although i hate this way"

I have my profile set to private, my photos set to private, my status set to private and we have absolutely no friends in common. I fail to see the mystical connection we seem to have but apparently he does, so who am I to judge? He also "hate this way", so you know, he's like, never ever done this before but our connection was just too strong for him to resist, dammit!

"but believe me i am different
from anyone you meet on net or awhole your life"

I like how he simultaneously demonstrates what an overinflated ego he has and assumes that he's the most interesting person I have ever had the pleasure of encountering in my dull little life.

Although if that were the case, I would have carefully slit both wrists a few years back. Heck, I would have gone straight for the carotid just to be positive.

"i dont talk to anyone
but you seem that you are good-hearted "

So he doesn't talk to just anyone but he'll make an exception for me. I fail to express how shiny I feel inside at this moment. I feel so..so...ezbeshee-al!

O and be still my heart, for this random person off the interwebs thinks you are good based only on my name and the tiny thumbnail of my already blurry profile picture!
Well, that's all he can see but I've always felt that I have a phonetically pleasing name, so it's no wonder really.

"if you want to win a good friend
try to call me on mobile ............. or through email
...........@hotmail.com my name is ........... 28 years single work as an
accountant from cairo"

Translation of this: Act now if you don't want to miss the unique opportunity of getting me; the one, the only, the amazing to include you in my exclusive group of friends! After all, I'm a man from Cairo in my late 20's with a steady job and not only a mobile, but an email address, too! And you know how we fellas are rare nowadays, don't cha?
* insert image of him dancing to his own personalized rendition of "don't cha wish your girlfriend (or rather boyfriend) was hot like me" behind his keyboard. *

"i will wait your call bye"

Yep, you sure will.

Whatever You Say, Dude.

Today, while we were driving home, I saw a guy rush by in his car which had the word "DONGEROUS" conspicuously stuck on its rear end.

I mean, if you're gonna go ahead and try to proclaim what a bad-ass you are in such a pathetic, stupid and desperate method, you should at least make sure that said pathetic, stupid and desperate attempt is spelled correctly.

Hear the Crushing Steel..Feel the Steering Wheel.

from Warm Leatherette by the Normal - 1978

Being the great procrastinator I am, I still haven't learned how to drive. I can't really say the prospect seems all that tempting. Riding shotgun while my mother and father drive, I find myself both highly amused and extremely concerned. My mother - who is an excellent driver by all accounts - is especially creative when it comes to shouting insults and making fun of the stupidity of her fellow drivers in a way completely foreign ( and just a wee bit scary) to her usual self. That's the amusing part. The concerning issue is the fact that her nervous system and heart are being kicked repeatedly in their respective asses whenever she sits herself behind that damned steering wheel. I mean, most - if not everything - in Egypt nowadays is apt to bring out the best in your genetic makeup, be it High Blood Pressure, Diabetes or other stress-related conditions you might be predisposed to.
I personally find myself staring fascinated, mouth agape and everything whenever I see the cars criss-crossing randomly through the streets, pushing themselves through any space that will take them. Together with the broken and bumpy roads, the unnecessary (and often inane) traffic barricades and the random car collision, it all paints such an elaborate painting of extreme mental incompetence. It's mah-velous, I tell you!
Also, I believe stupidity in driving is not gender specific. It's true that incompetent female drivers tend to drive a bit too slowly and stick to one side of the road with their hands and teeth (I'll never let go, Jack. Never let go...NO MATTER WHAT!)..so they'll probably have you gritting your teeth and pulling your hair out strand by strand and maybe get the blood boiling just a bit or finally make that aneurysm go *pop*.
However, incompetent male drivers are more likely to crash into you for the simple reason that you dared to exist in their field of vision (you simple, lowly mortal, you). They're also always in a hurry and always need to have one hand perpetually attached to the car-horn the same way an infant needs his goo-goo ( i.e. pacificer, bunny wabbit, peddy bear etc.) to stop crying. Apparently, twice as many accidents are caused by males rather than females (google it). It could be because women usually have their children with them, the fact that men are more aggressive or simply because men just drive around a lot more. Point is, you're more likely to break a limb or worse because of unfortunately being in the same vicinity as a retarded male driver.

In conclusion, whatever morbid worries you might have...you'll (unfortunately) find them on the street of Cairo (because you know you'll eventually have to go there..mwahaha).

Rabena Yostor.

Baby, it's cold outside....

Damn! It's been way too long since I've made a post. Shame on me by all means! It's funny that I sit here writing this post as I'm slowly losing feeling in my hands and toes and watching my nail beds turn into a lovely shade of bluish-gray.

Winter, don't ya just *cough* love it *cough*?

You know it's winter in Abbasia when the fact that the entire square and the areas surrounding it are the equivalent of a gargantuan urinal becomes most pronounced. You're just walkin' down the street, chewin' your gum , mindin' your own business and you nearly bump into someone acting a little too much like they're at home. O.K. fellas, just because it's cold and just because you can , doesn't mean that you should. Meanwhile, chicks are avoiding fluids like the plague because they just know that there's a urogenital infection waiting to be caught by even being within the same vicinity of the university bathroom. Life sucks and ain't that a fact.

And yes, I realize that I've been saying gross, icky stuff for 5 minutes straight now.

To compensate, here' s a gorgeous 1989 song by Peter Murphy called " a strange kind of love". Lyrics:

A strange kind of love
A strange kind of feeling
Swims through your eyes
And like the doors
To a wide vast dominion
They open to your prize

This is no terror ground
Or place for the rage
No broken hearts
White wash lies
Just a taste for the truth
Perfect taste choice and meaning
A look into your eyes

Blind to the gemstone alone
A smile from a frown circles round
Should he stay or should he go
Let him shout a rage so strong
A rage that knows no right or wrong
And take a little piece of you

There is no middle ground
Or that's how it seems
For us to walk or to take
Instead we tumble down
Either side left or right
To love or to hate

Pet Peeves that bring out the axe murder in you

I'm not talking about things that simply "annoy" you, I'm talking about things that elicit a strong desire in you to inflict physical injury, a desire that you have to work very, very hard to contain. Then again, my mother says I'm a violent person by nature...(Not because I enjoyed hurting small animals as a child but because I slam doors a little too hard and open jars a little too aggressively. *sigh*Don't ask)

-In a crowded line towards an exit when someone insists on laying their hands on you as if somehow that's going to propel both of you towards the door any faster. What's especially irritating, is the fact that they're really not important enough to be in such a hurry.
Hey there, strange person behind me...hands to yourself or I'm gonna cut ya! O.K now?

-When you're standing on a bus with a heavy book bag , rocking back and forth in rhythm with the lovely elevations and depressions of our streets and someone sitting down asks you to please stand still because your bag is brushing against his/her shoulder and causing a great deal of annoyance. They usually throw in a grimace of disgust for good measure
How about I just knock you unconscious with my big bad bag, so we can both have a nicer bus trip home, sir? Would that make you any more comfortable?

-If I have trouble doing something with my hands and someone actually pushes my hand away forcefully to do it themselves. I'm not a 2 yr old you moron nor are we living in the stone age, anymore where language was kinda scarce. We can c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e with s-p-e-e-c-h and w-o-r-d-s.
Otherwise, me get very angry of you and me want to smack your face in real bad.

-You can't do (insert anything e.g. be a surgeon) because you're a woman and you'll have a husband and children to keep you busy OR Brilliant statements along the lines of "women are taking all our jobs after graduation, you girls know you'll become housewives eventually". Yes, I'm a girl/woman/chick and being one , I own plenty of high heels. Would you like me to introduce you to their business ends?

-Pimply faced teenagers , wearing a cap glued to their head (that seems to be disintegrating into it's primary components...the cap not their heads...I think) ,who you can hardly see behind their steering wheels and who are always in a hurry to get somewhere. Where the hell are you in such a hurry to? To put out a forest fire? To free Palestine? To save a bunch of orphans from child labour? WHAT!?
If you're a pedestrian, they're fully intent on running you over when you dare to cross the street. If you're a driver , they shine the light in your eyes and insist on somehow passing you because if they're gonna kill themselves in a car accident , then they might as well take you with them!
You just wanna pull 'em them over and just...!#(%()@#....you get what I mean, right?



*Deep Breath*..That felt good.

It’s all in the technique

I’m sure we all (the ones with functioning brains at least) know that harassment is a horrible vile thing particularly because of how degrading and violating it is to women.

The thing I don’t get, is why would a pompous, self-absorbed jackass who thinks women were all created for his own personal entertainment do something as useless, inane and just plain stupid as harassment that eventually succeeds in doing nothing but making him look like an idiot?

To further explain my point; let’s examine some common techniques guys use to harass women:

-Walking up near a woman close enough so she can hear you whisper something obscene. She doesn’t understand what you said, she doesn’t care what you said, your breath stinks, you stink and you still suck at life.

-Honking a horn when you see an attractive woman. What’s the expected reaction here exactly? Should said woman throw herself at your car’s windshield? Wave? Chase the car wherever it may go because she is now certain beyond all doubt after hearing that heavenly horn that you (yes, you!) are the one for her?

-Swerving your car at an attractive woman in the street. Now what the hell is this about? I mean, I know if I was a guy, whenever I see a hot girl my immediate reaction would be to run her over! Yeah, baby, yeah!

-Walking as close to her as possible and singing. Seriously? That’s like, supposed to have a deeper meaning? Besides that your vocal cords need to be either lubricated or just pulled out for the sake of humanity?

-Comparing an attractive woman to various foods like “eshta/cream cheese” or “3asal/honey.” Or “zebda/butter”. What girl doesn’t want to hear herself compared to gooey, sticky fattening foods that send your cholesterol through the roof all day long ? It actually manages to make the perpetrator seem even more disgusting (hard as it is to believe) . I’m guessing it’s the drool that adds that extra “eww” .

-Grabbing your privates. Good God ! It isn’t enough that for some reason the majority of men think it’s actually OK to adjust um…themselves any where, any time (IT”S NOT DAMMIT, IT”S NOT!), they actually think that it’s somehow enticing.

The overall gain from these techniques is either being completely ignored, being looked at with disgust or if a girl is especially having a bad morning , a minor scandal to spice up the day.

What’s the point ? Even if you don’t have the least bit of respect for women, why do something so incredibly moronic? I don’t care if you can’t get married, or if the economic conditions are harsh bla bla bla…if you don’t give a rat’s ass about women and their rights at least maintain a shred of dignity for your own sake every once in a while.

Which is Worse?

Can you believe that every single time I pray outside my house, some girl is waiting by to give me a cassette or give me a lecture about my hair? One girl even had the audacity (or is it the stupidity?) to ask me inside a mosque while putting on my shoes if I was a muslim. Um..well darn , you caught me! I’m really a Buddhist in disguise who came in here for the breezy atmosphere and the romantic lighting.

I should’ve asked her if she only began praying or even believing in God when she started covering her hair or maybe I should’ve just told her she was a hopeless moron. *Sigh*That’s l’esprit de l’escalier for you.

The next thing I see when I go out in the street are tons of happy happy couples. Arms around each other not a care in the world. The girls forming halves of these couples were usually girls wearing a hijab, a khemar or a 3abaya.

I’m a little confused here. So it’s not ok to leave your hair uncovered but having a guy grab you or put his arm around your waist or your neck, whisper sweet nothings into your ear and do whatever else it is you guys do together is A OK with God? I admit I maybe a little (ok VERY) uptight when it comes to PDA (public displays of affection) but shouldn’t a girl who’s so religious be just a little bit reluctant when it comes to letting a guy even hold her hand unless they’re officially married? Shouldn’t they be in the presence of their families and friends but never by themselves until they’re officially married? I’m guessing all of this goes on behind their parents’ backs as well.

I remember this professor telling us that girls should dress conservatively ( he meant wear a scarf) or else they’re figuratively letting each man passing by “have a lick”. And yes, those were his exact words. Do I understand from this rapidly spreading phenomenon that as long as you’re wearing a head cover or a 3abaya or whatever, it’s ok to give a selected few an actual “taste” before marriage (or even an engagement)?

And do the situations I’m put in make it ok for me to walk up to some random chick with a 3abaya and a guy surgically attached to her in the street and ask her if she’s a muslim because she’s got what seems to be a huge parasite (let’s call it Humanus hornyus) attached to her body? So can I, can I ?

Am I being judgemental ? Damn right I am. I tend to get that way when random people piss me off on a daily basis with their looks and their “words of wisdom”. It’s my turn, dammit!

See, I’m not against hijab or any tpe of garment a girl wears because she thinks she must in order to qualify as a good muslim as long as she’s not forced into it. I’m just sick of people preaching about appearances while everything else takes a back seat. I thought life was supposed to be about being honest with yourself rather than doing the equivalent of throwing society a bone, so they would call you a good girl and leave you alone, then sneak around and do whatever you want even though you know it’s religiously or sometimes even morally reprehensible. I thought...I thought your character was supposed to overflow on the outside instead of letting that shiny outer shell do all the work for your character or lack thereof.

Isn’t it? Or is that just not in fashion anymore?

Ma 3aleina. As one friend of mine usually says : Gayez el moftchy al OK!

You thought it was just about wheels, did you?

Silly rabbit.

Ok that was lame…Anyway, moving on.

I’ve previously bitched and moaned about microbuses (MB’s) and metros but I’ve never mentioned terminals before, have I?

Terminals I’ve passed through include : alf maskan, el abbaseya , abd el menem reyad, el marg and maw2af el 3asher. The first 3 aren’t too bad really, they’re positively stylish compared to the last 2 which I only started to know of about 6 months ago when I moved. You see, I moved to a nice house and a nice neighborhood (where the neighbors are separated by a thankfully decent distance) in a “new city” but unfortunately it’s not always just about where you’re going but also about how you’re getting there. The same buses going to Obour city, Sherouk City and 10^th of Ramadan city happen to cross roads with those going to El Salam , El Nahda and a town called Alexandria (not that Alexandria) which I only know of with the help of the tireless vocal cords of the scary gentlemen always dangling out of MB’s but I’m not entirely sure where it exists on actual land.

Maw2af el 3asher is quite amusing really, once you get over the psychological trauma and cultural shock that is. You walk into that place and on your left are people selling fruit, screaming competitively what are apparently cheap prices at the top of their lungs. You walk in a little further and this strange, exotic odor hits you like a wall. You’re not quite sure what it is until you spot what seems to be sort of an open buffet and salad bar on your left. In other words; carts with really tall bucket-like structures filled with things like beans (I think) and old cheese (the “old forgotten at the back of your fridge because you’ve been too much of a lazy ass to pick it up and throw it out for the past year” sort of cheese) each covered with the most flies I’ve ever seen at one time. Would you like some Salmonella with that, sir? Followed by a variety of pickles (Fear not, those come with flies, too!) and those strangely shaped plastic containers filled with liquid licorice and what appears to be milk (again, I’m just guessing). Underneath it all is a smell I’ve found to be existent in every terminal I’ve ever been to (even the stylish ones). The smell you know is there but you’re hoping is not .The smell that conjures up terrifying images in your mind .The smell that turns your stomach and kills your appetite for the week. Yes, it’s the smell that indicates that many wanderers in these here parts have confused this public area for a urinal. Heck, the entire Abbasia square smells like a friggin’ toilet sometimes. Anyways, after you pass through there a few times, you just learn to turn off your lungs for a few seconds and never mind the brain damage.

After that you’re met by the cars, their drivers and the “dangling men”. It’s like an attack of bees. You’re suddenly surrounded by people screaming unintelligible names of places at you all at once and pointing towards those heavenly vehicles of theirs. Is this what it feels like to be a rag doll? And don’t you dare get in an empty MB while another half full MB going to the same destination is standing there! They actually start fighting over the “customer” and their street vocabulaire starts to demonstrate itself in its most extravagant forms.

Damn, I never knew you cared guys! And now I’m a little scared that I do….

As for el Marg, well, I went there at the beginning only when I was trying out all the buses and almost ran towards the metro station once I got there. All I can say is imagine the same “maw2af el 3asher” atmosphere with slightly less of an odor and many more people who look like pickpockets and cut throats. The best description belongs to my father who dropped off a handy man there (and consequently told me never to go there again): It seems like the residents might one day take apart the metro and sell it as spare parts when it pulls into that station.

*Sigh*Truer words have never been spoken, Dad.

I should really start making my posts shorter ….

Things I've learned from Med School (Part II) : Patience, my love.

In our blessed faculty’s hospital , known as el Demerdash (a governmental/university/teaching/really cheap and miserable for the most part hospital), you’ll find a huge display of human misery. It’s really one of the bleakest places I’ve ever been, particularly the children’s hospital which is always overcrowded.

When you’re in your 5^th yr of med school and you’re actually dealing with patients hands on, you realize with a great degree of shame that you’re intimidated by them. You actually perspire, tremble a little and wonder if you were really cut out for this when you have to perform an examination or even take their history.

Is it because we still haven’t gotten used to the idea that we’ll be dealing with human beings and not just answer sheets? Sure.

Is it because not an insignificant number of our professors will make fun of us at the smallest mistake in front of the entire round?

Well, sometimes. Depends on how resistant you are to ridicule really

Mainly though…It’s because Demerdash patients are professionals and I’m talking about the chronic patients especially. They know more than you do. Much more than you do. The thing is, someone say, with hepatitis or with a valve disease has been coming to this hospital for 10+ yrs. He’s listened to the professors talk and talk and talk in both rounds and in private lessons. So basically these patients have graduated from med school twice over. When you go up to one of them all full of the intention to act as ..errr…doctorly as possible, he/she gives you the complete scientific explanation of their condition and how to examine them(where to put your hand , how hard to press , which order to use..etc.). Naturally, you’re crushed and the idea of crawling into the foetal position in a corner somewhere doesn’t seem so bad considering what a silly little thing you actually turned out to be.

Ah yes... I remember my first sheet when the patient pointed out that I had forgotten to ask him his job and marital status and started to tell me point by point what to write about his disease and what not to write . I particularly remember how he said in the exact scientific (English) terms : “I had rheumatic fever when I was eight now I have a double mitral lesion and my father died of coronary heart disease “. I didn’t even know what a double mitral lesion was at that time. There are actually ones who taunt you when mess up something. Like a couple of weeks ago a cardiac patient asked me “ How do you expect to auscultate the femoral without palpating it first?" with a smirk and a sinister look from behind his glasses. “ Well um…I …um…know where it is already!” was all I managed.

Yes, great comeback , I know.

There are even famous patients who get phoned (via their cellphones or special patient “caterers”) in especially for exams and for lessons. These are usually the ones with textbook cases and clear enough cardiac murmurs or signs for our inexperienced ears and eyes or just really rare ones we usually expect to only hear about but never see.

This is all for a price, of course. Rounds are cheaper than lessons as expected ; an hour or 2 is a pound or 2 from each student making up about 40-60 pounds depending on the round each day. Lessons though are about 70 L.E / student for about 6-8 patients and there are roughly about 80 students per lesson. Exams though, well, now we’re talkin’! If you look gullible, a patient can actually squeeze over 150 pounds from you during an exam. There are stories about having to give up earrings and watches. I have even heard a girl actually got asked to give up her wedding jewelry during the exam. Why pay up? Well, there’s always the fear that the patient may give you the wrong information during history taking, therefore steering you away from the correct mode of examination or diagnosis. When your examiner spots something shady in your sheet and asks the patient to confirm, they of course say something completely different. There goes quite a chunk of your grade and your future plans.

Why,thank you very much Mr. Chronic patient sir.

I don’t know if this makes me sound cold-hearted or if the entire situation is too bizarre to make me sound otherwise. It’s like the people you go into medicine to try and help end up being the bane of your existence for the last 2 (and most crucial) years of your undergraduate studies. I don’t resent paying the money but I do resent being taken advantage of, I resent this entire system of teaching medicine and come to think of it, I resent having to feel resentment towards somebody with a chronic illness actually.

Good God, that was long…Ah , well …till next time !

The Results Are In , What now?

I hardly ever write about anything political because other people do it much better than I ever could. That's why I didn't mention the "constitutional amendments" or the "referendum" or any of this supposed democratic (LOL, yes I know, I know...) bullshit and decided to boycott like many other people considering what a big lousy joke the whole thing was.
Against my own good sense,I watched "el 3ashera masa2an" or "10 p.m" yesterday and didn't know whether to laugh or cry when they were interviewing the voters. My favorite was this one lady who enthusiastically replied to the reporter when asked about her vote : "Yes, I vote Yes!".
The dismayed reporter (who looked like she was about to creep into a dark corner and crawl into the fetal position at the end of the segment) asked her if she knew what the constitution is. "el Dastoor? Dah kowayes!"

.....Uh wenaby da zay el balsam 3al gar7 ya 7aga.....

The reporter then gave it one last shot and asked her if she knew what the amendments were, to which she replied "No, why don't you tell me...".
Some people thought they were voting for the president, others didn't know what the hell they were voting for, some even thought there was a monetary punishment if you didn't vote. I loved how El-Ahram (the headlines of which hit me like a wall this morning) boasted about the amendments being written on the ballots for the voters to remember. Like , that's actually going to make a difference if they're using their thumbs to sign. It also says that the turnout from rural areas was higher than that from urban areas. Well, good golly! I wonder why...

Oh and lookie here friends and neighbours , according to the government, the turnout was 25-27% and the approval rate was about 75%.

According to human rights and independent groups , it was barely around 5%.

I also found this video on youtube that speaks volumes (kudos and respect to its creators) :