Hearing myself speak: television

Ramadan has also unfortunately become the month of neverending T.V. series for as long as I can remember. In recent years however, T.V. in Ramadan has been a continuous flow of commercials with some shows dispersed here and there. You end up watching so many commercials, over and over again that you become more familiar with them than with some members of your family.
I'm not going to talk about T.V. shows or series because I've avoided following any of them for quite a few years now but rather some T.V. ads that always strike me as odd whenever I venture to sit down in front of the television with a cup of coffee.

1- The series of commercials produced by The general union for NGO's ( el ete7ad el 3am lel gam3eyat el ahleya*- E7sebha sa7, te3esha sa7). Apparently, they're trying to teach the people of Egypt how to manage their budget properly. It's not the fact that the prices for bare essentials have doubled and tripled over the last few months that are making life difficult for people in Egypt. Oh my, no! It's because people are frivolous and wasteful. While the latter may be true for some portion of the population, producing a series of commercials reminding people how much easier their lives would be if they would be just a little more careful with those water faucets and cigarettes is not only equally frivolous and wasteful, but also moronic and aggravating.

2-A commercial for a~ particular~ brand of frozen vegetables(that shall remain anonymous), where a bunch of chefs decide to having a poolside cooking party. What an absolutely brilliant idea!
I know that whenever I decide to cook, I always to do it best by the pool while doing a little dance and gently caressing some artichokes, if ya know what I mean! *winkwink-nudgenudge*
Heck, I don't even know what I mean...

3- A commercial for that ~ particular~ brand of underwear(that shall remain anonymous), where we observe the trials and tribulations of a young man who doesn't have the best taste in wifebeaters/A-shirts/undershirts (el fanelat el dakhelya ya3ni). We watch with aching hearts the mess his life has become until we collectively rejoice upon his discovery of this ~particular~ brand ( that shall remain anonymous) and how the right fanela dakhelya can make you a star among your peers. It also appears to be the key to success in attracting women and eventually making a marriage work. These are pearls of wisdom, people! Pearls, I tell you!

4- Finally, I hope that Sameh chokes on those Goddamn chips of his.

There are probably a shitload of others that are also likely to make my brain hurt but those are the the ones that have left a stain on my soul, so far.

*at least I think that's the correct translation

Listening to : Goldfrapp - You never know

Yes, yes ... I realize I complain ..a lot. I can't help it though, I'm just built this way and I always find fuel all around me that keeps me going.
Take these things, I just don't get why they're so damn popular. I'm not insulting people who do them/enjoy them (not all of them , anyway) , I just can't my wrap my mind around why they're so ubiquitous.

Regarding Fashion:

- The eye-popping muffin-top look: It's when a combination of a size-too-small jeans and a top tucked into said jeans produces the characteristic stuffed sausage look , no matter what weight you are. Why go and defy the laws of nature like that?
And if you're still wondering why it's called a muffin-top , well..:

- Baggy jeans a.k.a the runaway jeans phenomenon : As colorful the patterns of many boxer shorts are, I really , really don't enjoy seeing them wherever I go . I thought the whole concept of underwear was that it stays under the clothes. It's really not supposed to pop out every few minutes to greet the person seated behind you.

- Wearing something tight enough to show the outline of your belly button: Until recently, I didn't think this look was even possible. It's an interesting concept trying to point out exactly where you used to be attached to your mother before you graced the world with your presence but it also looks like your belly button is attacking your shirt, or that you're smuggling a CD, or doughnut or a bagel or something under there.

-Flip-flops on guys : I've mentioned this before but I cannot stress this enough, looking next to me and seeing really big , hairy toes wiggling around is just tres, tres creepy.

Regarding driving:

-Driving and chit-chatting on your mobile : Really, now. Are you that important? Is that call really that crucial? And if you wanna show off, why not show off your ability to afford a bluetooth ear piece car kit or something else that doesn't guarantee collision with the driver ahead of you. If you were only at risk of running into a wall or a lamp post or something just so you could get your lolz while driving with your best friend on the line, there wouldn't be a problem. The thing is , you're likely to hurt someone else and that's not fair , is it? I mean if you're gonna kill yourself, do it alone.

-Driving in the wrong direction: I see this all the time on Cairo-Ismailia road. People are actually too lazy to drive 200 metres to the nearest U-turn , so they can drive in the same direction as everyone else. What's interesting , is that there's usually an accident site nearby , not surprisingly, also caused by another lazy-ass moron. You'd think they'd head the warning but nooo, nuh-uh. These guys are "special", they don't need no stinkin' brains to drive. Another case of kill yourself alone, please.

Regarding T.V. :

-Prison break : They plan an escape, something goes wrong. They plan another escape, something else goes wrong. It gets a bit tiring after a while and how long do they think they can keep this up before they actually end up escaping? Almost everybody I know watches this show...

-Obnoxious guys with great wives/girlfriends on sitcoms and cartoons : According to Jim, still standing , grounded for life , the family guy , the Simpsons..etc.
It would've been O.K. if it were only that these guys are completely incompatible physically with their wives (i.e. fat bald guys married to really hot chicks) but they're also obnoxious , immature, irresponsible and just a wee bit retarded . Yet these shows are popular and have been running for many seasons. It's a conspiracy I tell you!

Regarding Facebook :

-Applications, applications, applications all over the place : I have to admit that some of them are fun but its like every single brain fart around the world is being turned into a facebook application.

- Listing the "Holy Qur'an" as one of your favorite books: Well technically, If you're actively practicing a particular religion, you're not exactly at much liberity to dislike the holy text book/ rule book of said religion and therefore it's kinda ridiculous listing it as one of your favorite books.

-About a gazillion groups for "booby tata7ada al malal!" (booby defies boredom) : It's always nice to know that the sight of a hot chick in a a push-up bra and a really low-cut shirt (who is suspiciously named, of all things, "booby") can drive legions of Egyptian men into a state of chronic persistent puberty. It's highly amusing how these groups are listed in guys' profiles usually right next to their Amr Khaled groups. My favorite was one group which actually put up a notice before the last ten days of Ramadan telling its members to stop uploading pictures until the last ten days of Ramadan are over, then they would meet again after Eid.
Now, that's what I call entertainment!