You thought it was just about wheels, did you?

Silly rabbit.

Ok that was lame…Anyway, moving on.

I’ve previously bitched and moaned about microbuses (MB’s) and metros but I’ve never mentioned terminals before, have I?

Terminals I’ve passed through include : alf maskan, el abbaseya , abd el menem reyad, el marg and maw2af el 3asher. The first 3 aren’t too bad really, they’re positively stylish compared to the last 2 which I only started to know of about 6 months ago when I moved. You see, I moved to a nice house and a nice neighborhood (where the neighbors are separated by a thankfully decent distance) in a “new city” but unfortunately it’s not always just about where you’re going but also about how you’re getting there. The same buses going to Obour city, Sherouk City and 10^th of Ramadan city happen to cross roads with those going to El Salam , El Nahda and a town called Alexandria (not that Alexandria) which I only know of with the help of the tireless vocal cords of the scary gentlemen always dangling out of MB’s but I’m not entirely sure where it exists on actual land.

Maw2af el 3asher is quite amusing really, once you get over the psychological trauma and cultural shock that is. You walk into that place and on your left are people selling fruit, screaming competitively what are apparently cheap prices at the top of their lungs. You walk in a little further and this strange, exotic odor hits you like a wall. You’re not quite sure what it is until you spot what seems to be sort of an open buffet and salad bar on your left. In other words; carts with really tall bucket-like structures filled with things like beans (I think) and old cheese (the “old forgotten at the back of your fridge because you’ve been too much of a lazy ass to pick it up and throw it out for the past year” sort of cheese) each covered with the most flies I’ve ever seen at one time. Would you like some Salmonella with that, sir? Followed by a variety of pickles (Fear not, those come with flies, too!) and those strangely shaped plastic containers filled with liquid licorice and what appears to be milk (again, I’m just guessing). Underneath it all is a smell I’ve found to be existent in every terminal I’ve ever been to (even the stylish ones). The smell you know is there but you’re hoping is not .The smell that conjures up terrifying images in your mind .The smell that turns your stomach and kills your appetite for the week. Yes, it’s the smell that indicates that many wanderers in these here parts have confused this public area for a urinal. Heck, the entire Abbasia square smells like a friggin’ toilet sometimes. Anyways, after you pass through there a few times, you just learn to turn off your lungs for a few seconds and never mind the brain damage.

After that you’re met by the cars, their drivers and the “dangling men”. It’s like an attack of bees. You’re suddenly surrounded by people screaming unintelligible names of places at you all at once and pointing towards those heavenly vehicles of theirs. Is this what it feels like to be a rag doll? And don’t you dare get in an empty MB while another half full MB going to the same destination is standing there! They actually start fighting over the “customer” and their street vocabulaire starts to demonstrate itself in its most extravagant forms.

Damn, I never knew you cared guys! And now I’m a little scared that I do….

As for el Marg, well, I went there at the beginning only when I was trying out all the buses and almost ran towards the metro station once I got there. All I can say is imagine the same “maw2af el 3asher” atmosphere with slightly less of an odor and many more people who look like pickpockets and cut throats. The best description belongs to my father who dropped off a handy man there (and consequently told me never to go there again): It seems like the residents might one day take apart the metro and sell it as spare parts when it pulls into that station.

*Sigh*Truer words have never been spoken, Dad.

I should really start making my posts shorter ….