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Monday 25 June 2007

Insomnia

"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake." - Fight Club

Sigh...I'm such a wimp.
I have over 2 months left till I start my finals and I'm already exhibiting bizarre stress-related behaviour (which I do on a yearly basis).
A few years ago it was unexpected fits of crying and yelling. It was like having PMS for a Goddamn month and you just know that means it was ugly.(e.g. We kaman bet2oly saba7 el kheir!? )
A couple of years into college, near the end of the year , I started talking and then walking in my sleep according to my family. I woke up once to my dad banging on my room's door because I had got up in the middle of the night and locked it from the inside. Handling doors in my room while sleeping would've been O.K. if I didn't have a balcony on the other side of my room of course.
This year , God help me , it's starting early. I've got insomnia, horrible horrible insomnia. My head hurts, my eyes hurt. I can't drink too much coffee because it'll make it worse , yet I can't quit it completely because it's the only thing keeping me from going into absolute zombie mode.

What do I do when I'm up all night? Well, I'm too dizzy to work , so I either turn on the T.V. without paying attention to what's on or repeatedly open and close the fridge without really taking anything out or I try to read something I've read before so I don't really have to pay attention to the words. Mostly though , I just walk around the house aimlessly with my mp3 player playing in my ears, which makes it fantastic when my mom wakes up to see who's making all the noise (my mom always wakes up to my footsteps even if they're on the other side of the house, it's like I'm a baby elephant or something) because she creeps up behind me and I get a miniature heart attack. Thanks, Mom. Merci Keteer really.
I feel like fainting on my bed all day but as soon as my head hits the pillow , my eyes just pop open. I start to roll around,sweat and curse. Last night I came pretty close to crying. I did get about 3 hrs of interrupted sleep though so I can't complain too much.
Let me tell you though, I had my psych rounds last week and interviewing bipolar and schizophrenic patients while you're half asleep is one heck of a trip!

I tried warm baths, exercise ,reading , warm milk , not even touching the bed all day etc. but nothing's worked ,yet. I think I'm gonna try and get someone to smack me on the head tonight. We'll see how that works.

I had to post this song :



Sweet dreams, everyone.

5 comments:

Juka said...

I hate the song, but I completely sympathize!! You poor thing you. Wish I could help, but at times like these; no mortal can!

grey said...

did u try sleeping pills?

The Legal Dealer said...

Juka : I don't like this version much but it was the first one to come up
on youtube. Thx sweetie :(

greyscale: I'm not comfortable with the idea of having to take sleeping pills. I'm leaving that as a sort of last , last resort.

Anonymous said...

you could go see a neurologist- they put you to sleep in a room and then measure your brain activity while you're sleeping and then send you home with a pretty chart.

The Legal Dealer said...

pink: I'll eventually get over it without a neurologist , I just need to moan and whine a little bit :D
but that chart does sound tempting...