Wednesday, 15 April 2009

I'm a Doctor! Well sorta...

Imagine me saying that a la Zach Braff, all full of myself in my fancy work p.j.'s (a.k.a. scrubs).
So I technically graduated and I'm currently 6 weeks into my year as a house officer (a.ka. my year of living dangerously...dun dun DUN).

I went ahead and picked the group with obstetrics and gynecology as the first round and my oh my, what a hoot! Suffice to say that adoption does not get enough love in this country and anyone who tells you girls that pregnancy is a beautiful thing should be instantly smacked on the head. Preferably with something capable of causing brain damage.

Between the random pools of blood and vomit on the floor and all those women screaming their heads off at once, topped off with a doctor getting a miniature nervous breakdown every now and then, I just can't seem to see the beauty. Not even when the resident finally lets you assist in a delivery and you hold that strange squishy creature in your hand covered in a strange variety of ..well... crap and you're looking around frantically for someone to take it away before it slips out of your hand.

Eh, it's the circle of life maaan...(no, I'm not using a bong right now).

I've learned in these past few weeks that I'm not nearly as much of an insomniac as I fancy myself to be. In fact, I actually like to sleep every now and then.

That I'm always going to find blood somewhere on my hands, no matter how careful I am or how many pairs of latex gloves I carry around.

That working in a hospital requires you to be an asshole/bitch/jerk more than your normal daily quota, as unfortunate as that is.

That everyone in the hospital steals from everyone else. We were actually sent out more than once on missions to rip off both the internal medicine and surgery hospitals of as many cannulas as our formerly innocent pockets could carry. We all died a little inside as we started our career in crime *sigh*.

That washing your shoes before you step into the house is always a good idea because you're never quite sure exactly what it is you slipped on while walking down the hall that day.

And finally that requests are a great way to lose weight, if you steer clear from all the junk food (a.k.a. mysterious and greasy toxic waste everyone in the hospital seems to order). Eat your heart out, Jenny Craig !


hesperia said...

LMAO! rock on girl!! livin on da wild side!! :D